I'll Take My Chance.
Which is why I'd rather stay home to watch TVs. Or clean the house for the third time already today. Wiping and mopping. Arranging and re-arranging. Sweeping and dusting. Surf the net for recipes. Trying them out, working out the timing and portioning. Figure out cooking methods. Pretending I'm running a restaurant taking orders. Imagining cooking for the family. And the children.
Yes, I am going to take my chance.
I am going to wait forever. Hoping that one day we'll be together. I am not hurt. I am doing alright. Moving on. As if nothing happened. Of course, that's a lie. I bleed inside but it doesn't really matter. Ain't nothing I haven't felt before. Maybe that's why I grew up the way I did. So that I can face moments like these like a man. Or like a child I used to be. Only this time I don't have Aunt and Grandma to hug. To feel that it is okay because as long as I've got Aunt and Grandma, I can face anything.
Just another day.
Thank you, friends. Thank you for your concern. Thank you very much.