Father Figure.

Wait the minute, I need to knock my head against the kitchen sink.

The idea of being a father is scary. I know I can be mom better than I can being a dad. It's quite easy to be a mom. I watched Aunt all my life to know for sure. Frankly I don't know what a father does, around the house, that is.

I know a dad watches a lot of TV, especially football. He also reads newspaper a lot too, sometimes all day. He does this on a couch, puffing a ciggy or a pipe if he is a smoker, that is. He's got the TV turned on full blast to CNN or something macho like a rugby channel. He has to have his drink on the side, in a huge mug of tea, or coffee, or both by the table next to the couch. Sometimes he grunts at the way the world has become with wars going on in every corner of the universe. He says something smart to a mom sitting ramrod like a manequin next to him, agreeing to everything he says about how to solve all this military conflicts. He's got all the answers to all the world problems if only those policymakers and politicians take the time to listen to him. Oh yes, he's got all the answers and you can bet your left ear on this.

He also says, 'Later,' 'Tomorrow' or 'I'll get to it after I'm done with this sports page.' Sometimes he goes, 'Woman, will you please stop bothering me? Can't you see I'm busy taking a break here?'

Sometimes he goes to a mom, kissing her on the shoulder blades and takes her to the bedroom to close the door behind him. Give them about half an hour max before you see a mom walks out the room looking as if she's fought a grizzly bear or something. She'll say something like, 'Don't make too much noise, your dad is sleeping.'

A dad also takes a look at your bicycle and makes it ride smooth good as new again. When I was little I used to take my bicycle to a dad who lived a few houses from ours. I'd watch him work on the bike with the tools he got in a box. I'd touch a plier, or an open-end spanner and his kid would go, 'Don't touch!' I'd put it back wishing I had a dad who had a box of tools like that so I can tear apart my bicycle and put it all back together again good as new. Aunt said I shouldn't go to that house too often. I said, 'Why, mommy?'

You don't have to worry about anything in the world if you had a dad in the house. He takes care of everything like kills a snake so it won't bite you. He's also the first to go get a cow before he and the rest of the men at the mosque bring it down to the ground to slaughter it for Qurban. You see him holding down a huge cow down on the ground, pressing the neck with his strong arms full of tough muscles that can knock your teeth out clean with a single punch. You see him smiling and happy joking with the men and you wish one of them is your daddy but none of them is. Each and everyone of them belongs to someone.

This is not a sad story. As a matter of fact all this is supposed to make you laugh because I watch TV dad a lot to learn a thing or two how to be a dad. I've got some ideas so it's not exactly something scary. Only sometimes. Especially when I think that her daughters used to have a daddy who was a Major in the air force.


Next entry: Lunch with the family, I mean her family.