Thursday, January 29, 2009

Someone Like You.

I LOST COUNT HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN I waited for someone like you to come along and now that someone like you suddenly appear in real life, smiling and talking with the voice oh sweet and gentle, I find myself lost and alone somewhere between Nibong Tebal and Simpang Ampat.

Here I am in Sungai Bakap walking about in your hometown; hoping for the time to freeze this moment so I can be here a little longer, to imagine for a few minutes more that you're watching me getting used to the idea of having to spend the rest of my life with you, in this here town where I won't get to see the beach because this here town is pretty far inland, and all I can see is miles and miles of Chinese cemetery filling up the entire landscape on the East side.

Someone like you only appear in my wildest of dream but how could I have known that someone like you is up and about in a town like this looking pretty as you. What am I to do when someone like you suddenly appear in real life? Should I whisper her sweet nothings that I've waited for someone like her all my life and now that I've found her I really have no idea what to do because life seems almost complete now that someone like her is as real as the wind in my ears. Life isn't supposed to be complete as this. Life is supposed to be about me dreaming of all the things I can't have that I gotta keep working hard to own the things I can never have. I'm supposed to be searching and looking for someone like her in my wildest dream. Someone like her isn't supposed to appear at the door smiling and talking with a voice oh sweet. Someone like her is supposed to come around in my dream, smiling and talking with a voice oh so sweet, leaving me feeling oh so alone because someone like you have taken away all the love in me that I can't love another and all I can do is to keep on dreaming and hoping to love someone like you all over again.

Somewhere between Butterworth and Georgetown, I take the ferry to Penang Island feeling completely at sea now that I've found someone like you but for the life of me, I don't really know whether to close my eyes and fall in love, or to keep on dreaming until it's time for me go.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Stylistics

Feeling so out of love when I think of you.


You can still set my heart on fire each time I think of you, Cath.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Disco Bergen.

EVERYONE WAS GROOVING AND JIVING to the beat of The Commodores. Hardly nineteen I was doing it too but oh what a sight it was. I don't have the beat in me and I don't have no rhythm to do a decent move to catch the eye of a girl doing the boogie. No, I don't miss those moments. I don't miss the hair. He he.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


GRANDMA SAYS if you could have half the size of Aunt's forehead, you'd be as smart as she is but no, all you've got is a tiny forehead which is why you'd never be as clever as she is with money. I say, I'm very good with money, Grandma. Aunt gives me the money, I spend it. That way Aunt can be as smart as she wants to be with money. All I've gotta do is ask some from her. I know she'll say she hasn't got any left in the house but I know she's got plenty. Oh yes, Grandma, I'm a smart kid all right, and I don't need Aunt's forehead. All I need is a bit of stones and pebbles to rain the house with so Aunt can give me the money. Now, that's a smart thing eh, Grandma?
Grandma says; budok ni loyar buruk. Bila besor nok jadi bende dok tahu setarang.*
And Grandma chuckles and chucles that I have to bury my face in her laps. Oh how I miss Grandma and Aunt. And Cousin. The three women who raised me as if I was their own child.

(This kid is full of craps. I wonder if he'll grow up proper).

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Next Entry.

SOMEONE SAYS TO ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS: you wanna know something, kid? Aunt isn't your real mommy. And so I ask Grandma if this is true but she doesn't say nothing. I run to the beach to whisper in the wind; please bring me my real mommy. But the sky doesn't say nothing and the waves just keep on rolling and rolling as if nothing happen. And so I say to myself, it doesn't really matter because in my heart, Aunt will always be my real mommy...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Stand By Your Hubby, Ma'am. (Edited)

YOU MAY WANNA TAKE A CHANCE on a guy who says nice things about you in the morning when you run into him in the elevator, or on the way to your cubicle in a nice downtown corporate office where you keep a picture of your family next to your computer. You may wanna forget about your uneventful life for a moment and take a chance on love one more time because the love you thought that would see you thru' the old age doesn't look good anymore now that your hubby is all rotund and doesn't know the difference between the new dress you bought yesterday or the one you bought two years ago. As a matter of fact, you figure, he hardly notices anything about you anymore and so you figure, a colleague who says nice things about you and your new dress is as good as it can get to putting the fire back on the kinda love you want to happen again and again. You figure you wanna be sixteen again and it's time you deserve something for yourself that you're willing to drop everything and listen to your heart and start flirting a little with the colleague.

Or you wanna take a chance on a guy you met on Facebook, or Tagged or one of those network thing. And so you exchange email messages and the next thing you know, you give him your cellphone number and things start to snowball from there faster than a one-legged marathon runner going downhill.

You may think your hubby doesn't appreciate you anymore. You may think this in your head each day you wake up. You may start to speculate that he doesn't like you anymore, or that he doesn't care about you anymore

You're wrong.

The truth is he cares. It's just that he doesn't say much about it because he figures he's got his life in order now that you have become so much a part of him, and that everything is so stable to him on the home front that he doesn't have to remind himself to say little things like 'You look good today, honey!' or 'God, I love you so much I'd kill anyone who look at you with half an eye.'

Now, a stranger will say nice things to you and you figure he means it. Lemme tell you this, ma'am. A stranger doesn't mean it because he doesn't know anything about you. He sees you in a nice dress with make-up, nice shoes and all. He doesn't have to see you in your birthday suit (whatever that is), at home doing your chores, running errands and stuff like that.

A stranger says this thing to you because he knows a 40 something woman like you can easily be taken in with something like this because he knows your hubby doesn't say it anymore.

Don't take a chance on a stranger, ma'am. You wanna stand by your hubby at home because I bet you my left arm and my right ear that your hubby will be one confused guy if he has to live his life without you. He'd go bonkers in a week because you are not there to organize his life for him. You see, he has given up his entire life so you can take care of it for him. He doesn't control his life anymore. You do. So when you take a chance on a stranger and run away in a boat to some paradise in the sun, you know you're leaving behind a hubby who will go down in 5 days top.

Think about it, ma'am. Stand by your hubby because he's as good as it will ever get to true love. So when you leave the office for home today, think for a second that you're going home to a guy who has surrendered his life in your hand. He may not say nice things like; you're-one- drop-dead-gorgeous-woman, but you can bet your nose that he's there to share the only life he knows with you. You don't want him to say something like this; 'You're one gorgeous thing, woman'. You know you're not one gorgeous thing yourself anymore, so don't kid yourself. So when a stranger says 'You're one gorgeous thing,' you know very well that it's a big lie.

Stand by your hubby, ma'am. It's the best bet there is.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Se Petanque De Ddunggung.

I'M NO UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR to arrive at the final analysis why Dungun folks have embraced wholeheartedly the game of Petanque as the favorite pastime. I believe this has something to do with the word Petanque itself. Petanque may sound high-class and French and all that stuff but the truth is, it has a strong linguistic connection to the Trengganuspeak 'petong' or a higher version - 'plekong'. These words involve throwing of an object to hit something with, and Petanque as you will have guessed, is very much a throwing game. I'm no professor so I had better leave this mystery to Sir Awang Goneng. He's the authority on Trengganuspeak. And French.

There were three shops like this at one time in this men's town. The one in front of Masjid Kampong Tengah has long gone. The one on top is Ah Fok - located behind the old post office facing Padang Astaka. It's famous for the santan ice-cream, washed in evaporated milk. The one at the bottom is at the end of Jalan Penaga towards the river. I'm not a big fan of kopitiam because for toast and half-boiled eggs I'd rather prepare these myself. You don't need to be chef to do this. But people go here for the ambiance, I guess. As for the ice-cream, I believe it's about my childhood. It's about eating that ice-cream while listening to the men in nice shirts and pants talking about women in baju kebaya and kain susun. I was ten.
Four boats. Four wives. 
Fresh out of the sea. Fry it with tumeric and salt, dried chili and onion. Squeeze a bit of lime. Have it with rice, budu - sitting on the veranda on a cloudy December day looking out to the South China Sea. You don't want to leave for KL too soon. You wanna stay here for a couple more days. You can't leave your hometown in a hurry just because you've got some work to do in KL. That can wait.
No more penambang to Seberang Pitasang now that we've got the bridge. 
The roads from London, Paris, New York, Dubai and Gairloch end here. (The starting point of Dungun - facing towards Sura Gate, London, Paris, New York, Dubai and Gairloch.

Petanque - pronounced: pata-NG-K
Petong - throwing an object with 60% of your energy.
Plekong - throwing an object with 80%  of your energy.
Tagor - throwing an object with 100% of the energy left after you've performed the petong and plekong.

For those looking for a non-commercial holiday destination, Dungun is one of the best places I highly recommend because -  it's my hometown. They've got nice sea-front chalets along the coastal drive. The prices they advertised on the billboard are reasonable. There's nothing much to do here except look out to the sea as if you're waiting for a long lost lover to come drifting home in a boat. Nothing to do means good because the place will remain popular only to those who wish for a quiet holiday, instead of going about town in a tour bus, flocking in a group of folks with a camera, straw hats, white pants, floral shirt, boat shoes and over-sized pouch. Dungun isn't that kinda of holiday destination. It's a civilized, academic and very clean place for those looking for a well-managed sea front town.
The downtown is pretty run-down now that all the commercial zones have been re-located to Sura Gate. There's Pizza Hut, KFC and 7-11 if you can't live without these. And wi-fi service. But if you are into rustic and quaint stuff, the downtown area is a good place to photograph wooden shop houses and lanes. You have the choice of wandering around Dungun, or cross over the spanking new bridge to Seberang Pitasan where you can have the 10 km stretch of the bay all to yourself. And come back to the chalet late in the evening for a seafood dinner.
For the bicycle enthusiasts, it's a bit unfortunate that the shop that operated bikes-for-rent has closed for business long time ago. Maybe I should start one, or you may want to start one now that I've given you the idea. But be sure to acquire bicycle repair skill because it's very difficult to hire a guy who can do this. A bicycle shop is a hands-on kinda business so you gotta have the skill to operate one. If your car is equipped with the carrier to transport the bicycle, I'd recommend it highly that you bring your ten-speed or the mountain bike here so you can cycle about town at your own pace. You can't do a town like Dungun in a car.
Do make Dungun your next non-commercial holiday destination. If you need a guide just mention my  name, they'd probably know who you are talking about. But of course, my name isn't Bergen when I'm in Dungun. It's Bergengg (with double 'g' for effect).

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Dungun - My Hometown

Heading straight down to kuala from Sura Gate

Kuala Dungun
The blue building - Jong Guling went there to make a passport. I had told him he needed one if he want to travel to Kuantan. The Immigration staff there laughed so hard Dungun started to shake. Jong Guling came after me and I ran like I had never ran before.

At the end of this road is Sekolah Llaki Dungun - my primary school. It's called different now.

A lone guy walking as if he owns the town. I have a strong feeling he does.

7km coastal drive all the way up to UiTM - where the road ends at the tip. The beach is very clean. Here's to you my Dungun folks!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Love Is Not A Pot Of Lamb Stew.

YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF A SIMPLE QUESTION; is love a pot of stew that you have to slow-cook for at least 3 hours? If it is not, then the obvious answer would be; ma'am, I think we should stop seeing each other.
Gotta be honest from the start about this whole thing called love because as far as I'm concerned there are only two kinds of love in this whole wide world. You may think different. Or you may believe there are more than two kinds of love in this world, or just one. Whatever you think I'm sure it's the right thing but you gotta trust me when it comes to love because I'm as good as you can get as the sole authority in the whole wide world on a subject so very dear to my heart as L.O.V.E. Like I've said, there are only two kinds of love.
One - the kinda love you feel for someone so strong that you are willing to do anything for her because; she asks you to - like jumping over the neighbor's fence to fight with the dog that has been barking all day long that it is giving her a first-class headache. If you are not willing to do this (without arguing or stop to ask whether this action is normal in a relationship) then you know that the kinda of love you feel for her is not of the first-class kind but of a slightly inferior in quality. I call it love category #2.
Two - the kinda love you feel for someone because she's OK, or a good sport. You don't have to tell me about it but you know the kinda love you feel for her isn't strong enough for you to do something other than fetch a glass of water for her when she's thirty. You know that you are not willing to do anything more courageous than this; like cycling full speed going downhill on a bike at 10 o'clock at night. You may be a smart guy with a university degree to think that a woman won't ask her man to do this if she really loves you but you don't know women as well as I do. She may be a perfectly normal person during the day when the sun is shining like a giant bulb. But when the sun goes down, she may start to behave different and start to ask you to do things for her like re-engineer her washing machine into a front-loading cake mixer. And she won't take no for answer, at least until the sun comes up again the next day.
I know a lot of people out there who believe that love is pot of lamb stew. They fall in love of the second kind and then, they let it simmer until it becomes first-class love. It's fine if you have all the time in the world to watch love grows into a pot of lamb stew. I'm not in a hurry but I believe different. I believe in the kinda love that hits you hard in the face like being hit by a fridge. The kind I used to experience that it made me do things I wouldn't have done under normal circumstances; like walking up to a woman sitting in a table to ask if she'd marry me. There's a 100 percent chance that she'd say 'NO' but you only live once - and you may fall in love one or two times in your life. Maybe three. But you only experience true love once. So you've gotta be honest to yourself. You gotta be honest enough to say 'will you marry me' and not think about whether the answer is gonna be a 'No' or a 'Yes'. You've gotta take that chance because love of the first-class kind can only happen once. But for me, it can happen like four or sixteen times in a single morning. He he.