Thursday, June 29, 2006

I'll Take My Chance.

At this age it is just pointless to go look for someone I might be interested in, not when I've found what I've been looking for. Besides, I don't know where to look. My world doesn't include meeting women on daily basis. It's different if I've got a day time job in a large office building where the possibility of meeting someone in the elevator going up to my floor is as high as eight to ten. The fact is, this isn't the 60s where I can put on a nice shirt and a nice pair of pants with matching shoes to go look for women at panggung wayang, whistling at them from my Raleigh bicycle. I can still do that, at the risk of being arrested for sexual harassment in public places. At my age, I don't think it is a wise thing to do. Unless of course I like the idea of being branded a dirty old man.

Which is why I'd rather stay home to watch TVs. Or clean the house for the third time already today. Wiping and mopping. Arranging and re-arranging. Sweeping and dusting. Surf the net for recipes. Trying them out, working out the timing and portioning. Figure out cooking methods. Pretending I'm running a restaurant taking orders. Imagining cooking for the family. And the children.

Yes, I am going to take my chance.

I am going to wait forever. Hoping that one day we'll be together. I am not hurt. I am doing alright. Moving on. As if nothing happened. Of course, that's a lie. I bleed inside but it doesn't really matter. Ain't nothing I haven't felt before. Maybe that's why I grew up the way I did. So that I can face moments like these like a man. Or like a child I used to be. Only this time I don't have Aunt and Grandma to hug. To feel that it is okay because as long as I've got Aunt and Grandma, I can face anything.

Just another day.

Thank you, friends. Thank you for your concern. Thank you very much.

22 Comments:

Blogger Maya said...

Dearest Bergen,

I have been away but came back to catch up on your life/blog.

*Sigh*. Your trials and tribulations don't seem to end. Guess one has to live out what one has been destined to suffer/enjoy, eh?

Know that I have the greatest respect for you and am charmed both by your wonderful spirit and the grace with which you grasp the happenings in your life.

And of course your wonderful writing. But I am not giving up on that Bollywood dress I have put aside to wear for your bersanding :)

Always always wishing you the very best. Hugs.

Warmest regards, Maya.

PS. If you really want to cook and wish for a bevy of fine ladies to connoise your food, just send up a baloon over TESCO and I promise we will be there! Right gang?

11:27 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

I dont know what to say again. You deserve better.
*hugs*

11:53 PM  
Blogger k.d said...

Stay strong Mr.Bergen. Allah works in mysterious ways. Insya-Allah there's someone for you. She's out there waiting for you to love her to bits; who'll love you as you are and be with you Insya-Allah to your dying days. We all here for you, doa for you. Love is looking for the silver lining, though you might not see it now. Inna tawakkal 'alallah

5:15 AM  
Anonymous rad said...

My heart bleeds for you En. Bergen but like you said - life moves on & you'll be allright insyaAllah! Know that you're never alone...

7:26 AM  
Blogger maklang said...

Take care...

*hugs*

8:24 AM  
Blogger dee3 said...

*smiles*hugs*
*present*

8:59 AM  
Blogger tee said...

u take care, sir berg.

*double hugs*

9:27 AM  
Blogger marina said...

Dearest Bergen Sir,

I work in a huge building and i meet a lot of people every single day. But still have not found my man yet. I have given up looking at TGVs or Starbucks. If i start doing eye contacts, i will be accused as a bimbo and perempuan miang.

So like you, i am waiting forever too. At least we still have hope right Sir?

Don't worry. We'll be all right...

9:58 AM  
Blogger thinktankgal said...

Insyallah, it will be ok...

11:35 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

I am just an email away. If you ever need to talk just holler OK.

She just didn't know what they just turned down *sigh*

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

U can hug me, bro!

_Milah-got-no-blog_

12:32 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

take care.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Nazrah said...

God speed!

It will all fall into place sooner or later.

2:50 PM  
Blogger anggerik merah said...

Waz here. You take care

8:39 PM  
Blogger Blabs said...

You WILL overcome.

9:47 PM  
Blogger Em said...

Ola

Its gonna be alright..I know how you feel...Biarlah...we might not have much but we have Allah...

Take care!

8:56 AM  
Blogger Nobee said...

You r doing awright bro.

Anyway, u have ur frens here to put a smile on ur face.

*Hope it does* :)

1:05 PM  
Blogger podgykat said...

You will love again.... All these wonderful ladies that read your blog are rooting for you! Chin Up, and love will come your way...don't be sad too long you hear,just long enough! Cheers..

2:42 PM  
Blogger UglyButAdorable said...

i truly feel you.. it's so hard to find that otherhalf who can accept us unconditionally. it's either must be pretty, slim, rich and in your case family background. *sigh* honestly sometimes life's unfair..but I believe He listens and has plan for everyone.

u take care berg.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Lollies said...

yes take your chance. best wishes for you

5:17 PM  
Blogger LifeBloom said...

take care now. Time heals.

11:04 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Thank you for dropping. Thank you for kind words and encouragements. Thank you.

You're the best there is.
Thank you.

12:52 PM  

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