Sunday, August 26, 2007

Candle In The Wind.

Uploaded by Bergen.

I've got it all figured out.
How could I have been so blind not to see that money can be made easy these days selling candles. Take a look around you. People need candles for every occasion you can think of. Someone got arrested by the government, and the next thing you know people are going to organize some kind of vigil for him or her, holding a candle, either at a padang, or some place safe, in fact anywhere far from the prison where the guy is being held. On a good day like this you could make quite a bit of profit. If you are smart, just talk to the candle manufacturer to make it burn faster so people will need to buy at least 100 candles per person for a vigil ceremony which could last for as short as 5 minutes or as long as 5 hours...depending on how fast the FRU knows about it. The trick is, the longer the vigil, the more candles they've gotta buy, and the more money you can make. I'm gonna give a couple of guys I know around town a call to see if I can pull this deal off before words get around and everyone would want to jump in into this business. You know how it is with Malaysian herd mentality. One shock in the subprime market in the U.S and people start to sell like no body's business.

Now, here's a couple of occasions I can think of where people would need candles.
1.The formation of some kind of club or movement to protest against the government.

2.AIDS ceremony where people just love to burn candles as if the whole thing can give 'em some kind of inner peace. Good for them if this is so, and it'd good for me, should I decide to become one hotshot, big time candle supplier, that is.

3. The arrest of bloggers who write things the government doesn't like to read. People would need candles as a means to show their support for the bloggers and also as a show of defiance against the government's action. I don't know about you but I find candles a little feminine to go about to register your anger but hey, I just supply candles and I shouldn't meddle in this macho or feminine question.

4. I don't know much about Christianity, but I have the impression they need a lot of candles. I gotta find out more about this. After all, it wouldn't kill me to know more about my market, like why they burn the candles and stuff like that. Of course, I can come up with super-burn candles where it can burn faster than you can blink your eye.
5. Besides candles, I also need to diversify into supplying ribbons, or armbands. People need this to protest against something that bother them a great deal.

6. Maybe I should also supply caps, t-shirts and shoes that bling bling in the dark. I gotta spend a bit of money on R&D for this but for now, I'm gonna give everything I've got on candles, at least before I go back to school. After all, I need money to pay for my iMac. And Big Mac. And Whoppers. And Quarter Pounders. Of course, with the new iMac, I can quickly pick up Illustrator CS3, Photoshop, In-Design, iLife and all the softwares, to produce things like posters, banners, brochures, flyers, video clips, promos and stuff like that. A little candle in the wind could be a windfall if I play this right. All I gotta do now is hope for a couple of anti-government bloggers to be arrested so I can start this candle business in a big way.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Waiting For My New iMac.

I've been the loyal fan of iMac since the colorful tube design days right till now. If I had my way, I'd love to try a G5 but this will have to wait for now. Maybe I'll get it as a present to myself on my graduation. He he.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I'm Going Back To School.

I'm not much of a thinking kinda guy to be walking around the campus of the International Islamic University of Malaysia looking for the building where one goes in to study a language of one's own choice hoping to be able to, one day, speak, argue, sing and write letters in that language as natural as a bird flying in the winds. I'm not much of a bird kinda guy to be flying among the clouds but I hope to pass with flying colors given my natural tendency to fail at everything I've ever gotten myself into especially in anything that involves reading, attending lectures, quiz, exams and stuff like that. I know this is gonna be an entirely different experience all together from Meat Science but I have to take up something since I am not much of a guy who goes to work anymore and I figure I'd better spend my money on education while there's still some in the bank on account of my tendency to spend money as if I've got me some kind of business that brings in millions a day.
One thing for sure though, there's a lot of pretty women and I figure I'm gonna like this university just fine. I got through the interview and paid all there is to be paid. Quite frankly I'm all excited inside to be going back to school although I'm not as young as I used to; strutting aimlessly about the campus of a university in Sydney with a backpack, tight jeans, Reebok trainer, listening to people like Def Leppard, Motley Crew, Bruce Springsteen, INXS, and Crowded House. I just need to learn something. And this time I'm studying not because I hope to get a job. I just feel like going back to school. Gotta have me nice shirts and jeans. Gotta look like a guy who goes to school. Gotta feel like a guy who goes to school. And so if this blog is slow in up-date you know that I'm studying, or reading, or writing or watching the pretty girls go by. Come to think of it, that's how I met Catherine. Ha ha.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

NegaraKu - A Rap By A Guy Called Wee Meng Chee.

His dad said his son is as patriotic as a Malaysian should be. After all, he brought a Jalur Gemilang with him to Ming Chuan University, Taiwan. That has gotta be the flag he used in the video where he raps the Negara Ku in Chinese talking about the Malays, Islam and the government. I heard over the radio they may revoke his citizenship. He said the video is a gift to Malaysia in conjunction with the nation's 50th Merdeka.
He must have figured this would get him into trouble. Maybe he discounted the fact that it would get this big with the government and the politicians talking about it. He figured he could handle nasty comments coming in mostly from the Malays. It's a small price to pay since he is a hero of sorts among the Malaysian Chinese.
Thank you, Wee Meng Chee. You taught us something about trust. It's a big thing, mate.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

This Ain't No Sandwich.

Comments coming in like rain about NEP, Malays and English grammar are being posted by people who have been worked up pretty good by the kinda sandwich I make when I'm feeling all worked up inside especially in the stomach department, which is different from the heart department. And you don't need no medical degree to know that. You know where your stomach is and you gotta know where your heart is simply because you don't want the sandwich to get into the wrong department which I bet can cause a pretty nice heartburn or something like that. For this you gotta have a medical degree to know for sure.
I don't know who those people are and I am certainly not going to find out who they really are since you and I know that we can be anybody we want on the net. I can be the Naked Chef and you can be Nigella. No, I don't know why they posted the messages about all those big topics they talk about knowing very well that mine is a blog dedicated to garlic, onion, pots and pans. No, I'm not angry but I'm not sure if it is a good idea to post messages like that because it can get the Malays pretty worked up inside especially in the head department which is connected to the heart department and it is also connected to the arms and legs department which is pretty close to the parang and keris department.
It is common, I reckon, to assume that Malays can't speak or write English as well as the non-Malays. You know this is a fallacy. Just because the Malays don't speak as much English as the non-Malays, people have the tendency to jump the gun that Malays are hopeless at English. Quite frankly, it's not a big deal to be able to speak or write in English since here in Malaysia one can pretty much get by without English. Or Malay. So I don't see this as an issue. But you know as well as I do that the non-Malays don't speak and write all that good English either. You don't see the Malays making this into a big issue. The big issue is 13 May 1969.
And we all know it was started by a group of non-Malays going around in the open truck with the brooms chanting 'Melayu balik kampong', 'Melayu bodoh'. You'd get any Malay worked up if you do this. And now you are saying the government is behind all this? And you write a book about it accusing the government that they were the one who incited this 13 May to happen? You won't have me fooled there, mate. Not in a million years. I got a guy who posted his comment in a blog I can't remember. He said something like the non-Malays are not afraid of another 13 May, in fact he wrote something like, bring it on. I take that seriously. And this is the very reason silat classes are opening up like mushroom all over the country, especially in Selangor. Do you really think all this is for exercise?
I'm not angry. But there's no reason to bring this up in the month when we should all be proud to live in a country like Malaysia where you can have your tea, or beer by the roadside all night long without being bombed or shot by gunfire. Once again, and you can obviously see that it's not the Malays who is fanning up issues that can get the Malays angry. Even in this harmless blog of mine the non-Malays are coming in with comments that can get even the non-Malays irritated.
Please, we don't need another 13 May 1960. I was 10 when it happened but in Dungun nothing happened because how could we burn the houses of Awang Chia, or Mek Marang, Mek Sung, Mek Poh or Lichung Gemok when they speak like us, laugh like us, and most importantly, they were loyal clients of Aunt's batik sarung. But it's different now. The non-Malays and the Malays are drifting further and further apart. We speak different now. We don't laugh at the same thing anymore. We don't support the same team anymore. I don't think it's a good idea to widen that gap. What we gotta do is figure out a way to trust each other once again, since 13 May changed all that we had. Looks like the scars never really healed.
And the silat classes are opening up because when the bullets start flying, it's the common people on the street who have to pay the price. Your mom, or daughter, or dad could be out there driving or having dinner when it happens. Don't let it happen, mate. It's not good. It ain't good for you and it ain't good for me. Instead of harboring mistrust, why don't we leave that on-hold and focus on making this relationship works for us. Once that done, then we can bring out the mistrust and figure what to do with it.
Maybe you have the impression that I am one of those ultra-Malay kinda guy. It's not wrong if I am. And neither it is wrong if you are ultra-Chinese or ultra-Indian or Ultraman. You have a right to be proud of your race, heritage and culture. But I know it's wrong to start making comments or making fun of other's cultures, or religion. And I know for sure that you can get the Malays worked up with you keep on saying 'Melayu bodoh' 'Melayu malas'. Say something like this to Chinese, Indian, Italian, American, Indonesian, Blacks, Hispanic, Kadazan, Iban and I'd bet you my right ear on it that everyone of them will get angry too. You would too. Unless you are pretty thick in the head, or made of stone.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Gotta Have Me A Dagwood Sandwich.

There's a Subway in Summit but I am not in the mood to be out of the house now that it's all very nice and clean smelling like a hospital in Tehran, a mixture of Dettol, lemon and cardamom. And so I go into the kitchen to fix me a sandwich bigger and taller than that of Dagwood's.
Gotta start with the right kinda bread but all I've got is the utilitarian sandwich slices but these are good enough to embark on the Adventure of Super Sandwich.
Spread the slices out on a platter. Smother some mayonnaise and a bit of mustard. Work on the foundation with cheddar and some feta. Throw in slices and slices of strip loin beef and green and black olives. Top this off with cottage cheese. Gotta add some green in. I've got some pickles and tomatoes. Splash a bit of BBQ sauce to add that smoky taste to this sandwich that is beginning to look like Dubai Tower.
Who needs Subway when I can have my own super sandwich with 3 types of cheese thrown in for good measure. If this isn't' enough, I can go into the kitchen one more time and start over.
Home sweet home.