Saturday, December 12, 2009

Maybe I Don't Care Anymore.

You can dust the house three times a day, mop the floor just about every minute but you can be sure of one thing. The dust isn't going away and there's nothing you can do about it. It's gonna sit there on the table top waiting for you to suck it all in with the most powerful industrial vacuum cleaner you can get your hands on but the moment you turn off the machine, the dust comes back on as if smiling and giggling to your face singin' 'hey, big fella, you can't do nothing about us because we keep coming back hey ho hey ho, so whatcha gonna do about it, big fella?'

Maybe I'm obsessed to keeping the house clean as a nuclear lab. Or could it be that I have taken this cleaning business a little too far for my own good that I can't sit still for a second to enjoy the finer things in life like learning a thing or two about how to grill salmon on 703, or switch to 412 to gawk at a stupid movie about aliens running free in a supermarket. Here I am, typing this in one hand, while the other holding tight to a duster that I've just bought on-line because it says right there in the brochure that this wonderful duster has been magnetized to zap the dust and send it to the kinda hell that dust usually go to, and don't you ask me where in the world that kinda hell is because I don't wanna know where that is and you shouldn't too.

I'm watching this stupid movie with one eye, while the other one is focussed on a speck of dust coming down from a blade of a ceiling fan, gyrating in a downward spiral probably thinking to itself; 'where should I land so that this big fella with a magnetized duster can go crazy in the head because he has just dusted the table top almost ten times already this afternoon he he'

The truth is, you good-for-nothing, ne'er-do-well speck of dust, I don't care anymore. Don't you want to know why I don't care anymore? That's because I've got meself a new machine to blow you away.

Lemme introduce you to my super invention: The 7XXF Dust Blaster.

This machine is gonna blow the dust out of my house for a good 7 hours before it re-groups and comes back in. When it does, I've got another one it's call 24XXF Dust Eliminator 2. This machine can keep dust out of the house for a good 24 hours. Think about it, 24-hour dust free house. It's the luxury I can afford - finally.

Or I can forget about the machines and concentrate on making myself hopelessly a long-sighted person so I that I don't have see the speck of dust flying about the house trying very hard to make me go crazy in the head.

I'm not sure who's gonna win this war, the dust or me.

I need help.