Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Final Test.

If I were her children, I'd be thinking the same thing too.

One time when I was little a guy came by the house to talk to Grandma in hush hush but I was smart enough to figure what went on. Of course Grandma would say, go play outside, but I knew she didn't really mean it. And so I hugged her from behind around her waist, pressing my cheek sideway against her back while trying to reach both my arms on the other side which was impossible because I was too little to hug her whole. The guy kept saying, he's a smart kid he's a smart kid. I knew he didn't mean it otherwise he would have given me some money already so I could run to kedai kadir to tikam-tikam to win something like a motorboat or an army truck.

All the time Aunt was in her room fidgeting with buttons one time and something else another time. I ran to her room asking something like, what are you doing, mommy? She goes, shhhhhhhhh. I know she really means this because her eyes are wide as if ready to swallow me whole if I ask the same question again. And so I sat next to her saying to myself, that guy out there is going to take you away from me. I won't let it happen. He's gonna hurt you. I am not going to let that happen. I'll marry you so no one can take you away. Of course I didn't know that you can't marry Aunt. She was too big and I was too little.

If I were her children, I'd be thinking the same thing too.

I know deep inside they are saying the same thing I used to say when a guy came around the house to talk hush hush to Grandma about Aunt.

She's got four daughters. Two of them have married young during their senior years in the university. The third is in form four and the youngest will start school next year. It's kinda nice. An instant family. Just add water and presto, I'm a father.

Now I feel like saying, where were you when I was falling in love. But then again, we fall in love according to the time and place we're in. God, I am so in love.


Blogger Nazrah said...

oh wow...

it's great feeling isn't it?

8:22 PM  
Blogger podgykat said...

Good on you! Go with the feelings!

8:29 PM  
Blogger ubisetela said...

This is great! *smiling*
Hope to hear more good news.

8:35 PM  
Blogger torts said...

I'm all so excited - write more, write more! Praying God will grant your wishes ... a nice cowboy like you with so much love should be loved!

8:51 PM  
Blogger Sayuti said...

good luck with this one, sir.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Nour said...

Happy for you! You must be in cloud 9. Hope things would work for the better and all of us wld get to makan nasi minyak soon :P

11:52 PM  
Blogger k.d said...

Love comes in different form and comes at different time and place for each of us. This is your time and place, so I wish you well and I hope it ends well for you.

"Greatest gift of all is to love and be loved in return" (Moulin Rouge 2001). My favourite quote and movie..

11:59 PM  
Anonymous rad said...

I love happy-ending stories more so if it's real! I pray for you happiness together with your instant-family. Don't think of what you should have done blablah but simply go ahead and make the best with what you have!

7:36 AM  
Blogger anggerik merah said...

waz here...:-)

8:50 AM  
Blogger JoKontan said...

Whoa.. Good luck

8:58 AM  
Blogger JoKontan said...

Erk ! One more thing, Bergen.

May I say, enjoy the process..? :-)

9:00 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

So so happy for you (is it still premature ? To be happy ?) I pray everything will go well.

*hmmm, I need to find some kebaya sulam for the wedding soon. But before that need to go to the saloon to trim a bit, just enough to fit nicely into the kebaya, hmmm*

9:37 AM  
Blogger tee said...

guess, u r on top of de world now, ye? :)

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bergen - Good luck. Insya Allah - your good intentions will be fulfilled.

10:59 AM  
Blogger thinktankgal said...

Lovely! :) That young love feeling ;)

11:01 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Nazrah: I can't describe the feeling. All of a sudden even a stormy evening looks good when you are in love. But it pains me to miss her on an evening like that. It gets even lonelier at night. Frankly I can't wait to marry her so I can prepare breakfast for the whole family everyday. Okay, I'm imagining things. If this what love is, then so be it.

Podgykat: Yes, ma'am. I'm gone with the feeling. Way over and can't get back ever again. It's dangerous but this time I've gotta give everything I've got. I want to be in love and I need to be in love. If only could love me too. And the children.

Ubisetela: Yes, ma'am. It's a great feeling and I'm not thinking if this bubble is gonna burst. I don't wanna think about it because it is too nice to think of something like that, for now.

Torts: Yes, ma'am. This love has given me a whole new meaning to everything in my life. It makes me feel good.

Sayuti: Thank you, sir. You are ever so kind. I'm sure you felt the same way when you fell for your missus. Right now I feel like hero Tamil. Does it make sense. Oh well, everything makes sense when you are in love. Or is it the other way round? Whatever.

Nour: Yes, ma'am. Cloud 9 it is for me at the moment. At the rate things are going, I can go up to Cloud 10 if there is one, that is.

K.D: Yes, ma'am. It's my turn and I'm going to take it to where it is supposed to be taken, eventhough I don't know where that is. One doesn't need to know anyway.

Rad: Yes, ma'am. Right now the children do play an important factor in all this. All I hope is that they like me because I like them.

Anggerik Merah: Thank you for being here, ma'am. It means something to me to have you around.

Jokontan: You've got that right, sir. Going through it minute by minute is a pain and a joy at the same time. A joy to miss her, but a pain not to be with her. Oh well, one can't have the best of both worlds too much too soon.

AuntyN: I am all excited to receive you in Kebaya Sulam. Will let you know if all this will go the way I've created in my mind. At the moment (a bit of reality) it is but a pleasant thought since there is no way I will ever know for sure if she's feeling the same way too.

Tee: Yes, ma'am. On top of the world looking down hoping that I won't fall flat against my face. Afterall, it might as well be my imagination running too wild...

To everyone who dropped by, thank you. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you.

11:03 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Anonymous: Thank you. Your comment came in while I was typing out the reply.

Thinktankgal: Thank you, ma'am. Will let you know if all this is going somewhere. Who knows what might happen.

11:05 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

bergen: made me think of a line in this song *It must have been you" which goes like "and even be glad, just to be sad thinking of you"..in relation to yr comment to nazrah.

wooohoooo! way to go sir - you're in love!!!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Adah said...

Happynye Bergen!Happy that finally your turn dah sampai..I hope it reaches the destination that both of you dream of.

Happy sangat!

12:43 PM  
Blogger AuntieYan. said...

Falling in love eh????
What a feeling!!!

Like your Aunty N, your Auntie Yan
hopes to prepare kain susun with kebaya kota baru for the wedding...errr...am I invited????

1:38 PM  
Blogger dee3 said...

yaaaayyy :)
our en. bergen's in luv! :D

shall we get your samurai suit to the cleaners? i think it may be wise to not use black :p heheh

on a serious note, good for ya :)
all the best from us here, ya?

3:00 PM  
Blogger Arena said...

Happy to read this. Give it all you got, and dont hold back. Take care sir

5:38 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Anedra: That reminds me of the line '...I'd rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else...' It has been a long time since being sane doesn't mean a thing to me. LOL.

Adah: It also reminds me of this one '...seandainya aku mampu terbang ke awan, sa'at ini jua aku terbang melayang...something to meet you.' LOL.

AuntieYan: Anyone who ever dropped by in any of the entries is automatically qualified a guest to my wedding, if ever there is going to be one.

Dee3: Be sure don't send to the cleaners the long and short swords for without these, no samurai suit is complete.

Arena: I'm gonna give everything I got on this one, and there's no turning back. If ever there is something worth doing and doing it well it's gotta be this one. Don't even mind if I get hurt for what's a little hurt here and there for love.

To everyone who dropped by on this one, thank you very much for coming.

7:56 PM  

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