Saturday, December 12, 2009

Maybe I Don't Care Anymore.

You can dust the house three times a day, mop the floor just about every minute but you can be sure of one thing. The dust isn't going away and there's nothing you can do about it. It's gonna sit there on the table top waiting for you to suck it all in with the most powerful industrial vacuum cleaner you can get your hands on but the moment you turn off the machine, the dust comes back on as if smiling and giggling to your face singin' 'hey, big fella, you can't do nothing about us because we keep coming back hey ho hey ho, so whatcha gonna do about it, big fella?'

Maybe I'm obsessed to keeping the house clean as a nuclear lab. Or could it be that I have taken this cleaning business a little too far for my own good that I can't sit still for a second to enjoy the finer things in life like learning a thing or two about how to grill salmon on 703, or switch to 412 to gawk at a stupid movie about aliens running free in a supermarket. Here I am, typing this in one hand, while the other holding tight to a duster that I've just bought on-line because it says right there in the brochure that this wonderful duster has been magnetized to zap the dust and send it to the kinda hell that dust usually go to, and don't you ask me where in the world that kinda hell is because I don't wanna know where that is and you shouldn't too.

I'm watching this stupid movie with one eye, while the other one is focussed on a speck of dust coming down from a blade of a ceiling fan, gyrating in a downward spiral probably thinking to itself; 'where should I land so that this big fella with a magnetized duster can go crazy in the head because he has just dusted the table top almost ten times already this afternoon he he'

The truth is, you good-for-nothing, ne'er-do-well speck of dust, I don't care anymore. Don't you want to know why I don't care anymore? That's because I've got meself a new machine to blow you away.

Lemme introduce you to my super invention: The 7XXF Dust Blaster.

This machine is gonna blow the dust out of my house for a good 7 hours before it re-groups and comes back in. When it does, I've got another one it's call 24XXF Dust Eliminator 2. This machine can keep dust out of the house for a good 24 hours. Think about it, 24-hour dust free house. It's the luxury I can afford - finally.

Or I can forget about the machines and concentrate on making myself hopelessly a long-sighted person so I that I don't have see the speck of dust flying about the house trying very hard to make me go crazy in the head.

I'm not sure who's gonna win this war, the dust or me.

I need help.

24 Comments:

Blogger Ina said...

Dear Sir,

Glad that you're back! I don't care if the dust win the war as that means you'll be with us for a long, long time trying to win the war. Really, really glad that you're back! :)

7:33 PM  
Blogger Saya... said...

hahaha....i used to be like that.

when i had kids, i relaxed...too relaxed? seminggu sekali jer clean now, unless very obvious...i wanna do other stuff!

yes, i still see the dust n some cluttered drawers n unpacked boxes calling out to me at night, but i say "diamlah!"...

dust doesnt kill...haha...i lived!!!!

9:01 PM  
Blogger Snakebite said...

give up la, relax and let the dust be. make the dust your friend.

10:22 PM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
You get rid of it today but it is back tomorrow, so why bother dusting daily? I do it once a week now.
And I thought using air-conditioning instead of a fan lessens the dust. I thought wrong.

p/s Good to have you back.

12:20 AM  
Anonymous kama said...

selamat kembali ketanah air haji bergen. glad you mnake it home..alhamdulillah.. and leave the dust alone. habuk2 tu rindu kat you..

12:45 AM  
Blogger Zendra said...

Got anything for this dust in my brain?

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi .
Glad that you are back safe and sound and still writing. Have missed reading your posts.

Ixora

10:39 PM  
Anonymous zara said...

Assalamualaikum, Haji Bergen ;-)

Alhamdulillah, you're back in one piece and thank God you still have the 'buzzz' thingy in your writing skill that intrigued most of the faithful readers, I believe.

Welcome home, Sir.

And worry not about the dust. You have cleanse yourself there. ;-)

*happy writing, Sir..and happy reading to me *wink*

9:09 AM  
Blogger nadya.s said...

yey! u're back, Alhamdulillah.

:) hows tanah suci mekah?

10:38 AM  
Anonymous mm said...

This sent me dusting this morning, a chore that is not in my to do list at anytime of the year.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Justiffa said...

Salam Pakji :D

Selamat kembali & semoga sihat walafiat.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Fi-sha said...

Salam

Dear Encik Bergen

May I introduce you to one creative way of leaving little notes to your loved ones?

Yes, write them on those dusts :)

I guess you are adjusting yourself well to routine Encik Bergen.

Take care and be well ok. Don't be mean to the dusts. They miss you too :)

Cheerio!

p.s. welcome back Encik Bergen. Ada tak buah tin untuk saya?

8:21 PM  
OpenID azudesu said...

wow welcome home sir!!

haha. why don't you just be friend with the dust? you won't get hurt. nor the dust, of course. hehe.

9:37 AM  
Blogger Dr. Hasanah said...

Salam,

"Through experiencing, we all emerge on the other side with a new understanding of our own illusions, and how they are as delicate as an eggshell — easily shattered and broken" --taken somewhere.

Concentrate on the dust that covered the qalb...and you will be alright.

Moga sudah mendapat Haji yang mabrur.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Raden Galoh said...

Salam Haji Bergen...

Welcome back and it's good to hear your positive tone...

Let the dust come, again and again... let it be... dust it off the shelf or table when you feel like doing so..if not let it stay... (hehehe that's what i do now..)

i read this entry with a different meaning... thank you for letting me see that point...

take care.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

salam abang haji...glad to hv u back here again. macamana perasaan lepas balik mekah? pasti seronok kan.

let it be la...habuk tu dtg dlm byk source..persekitaran, sel kulit badan kita sendiri dan lain2 lagi...ia akan sentiasa ada so why bother so much. just make sure you have a routine to clean them regularly...konsep 5s..sisih, susun, sapu, seragam, sentiasa amal :-)

mek na

10:11 PM  
Blogger tokasid said...

Salam Haji Haji Bergen.

Alhamdulillah ur back.And fuming about the dust.
Alhamdulillah.That means you are still yourself.

2:08 AM  
Blogger dee3 said...

my mom only wears her glasses for one reason: to watch tv.

what she cant see wont bug her (tho she knows the dust are settling here, there, everywhere) but it wont nag at her as much if she cant see them.

perhaps that can ease your mind a bit about the dust, or it can also drive u to not sleep at night!

salam to the tn. haji, ya?
:)

3:12 AM  
Blogger yardsnacker said...

True story, one year I went into the duct work of my highschool...years ago. I signed my name in the dust on a vent. 4 years later my little brother does the same thing and sees my signature...I wonder if it is still there...
Fun blog!

Sam

3:56 PM  
Blogger zackzara said...

Sir..

I hope you are doing fine now coz hadn't read any latest post here for ages! *My blog turn mute too for more than 2 mths now. Blame it on my inability to manage time for blogging.*

Anyway, hope u have a great weekend yea.

Take care!

10:37 PM  
Blogger t o r t s said...

i chose to dust to/at my comfort level - then switch my focus. my doa for you.

1:08 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

Dear Mr Monk eh salamh, Encik Bergen,

may you never enter my house and see how i collect enough dust to use as tayammum material during water shortage - you'll freak out, or maybe not, since you dont care anymore. Still, never come over.

12:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not so capable to be proficient to put up exceptional stuff like you do but I am trying to pay it back so hoepfully this will hand you a idiotic grin or make you guffaw or at the very least give you a thought for the day? :

Life’s a bleach and then you dye.



http://yekolotemari.blog.com/2006/01/26/rain-book

12:57 AM  

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