Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Truth About Cancer

You don't hear nothing what the doctor is saying after you heard him say it is soft tissue sarcoma, the kinda cancer that kinda difficult to detect because it moves in the bloodstream. You've heard so much about cancer that you figure no way this thing can get to you but it does that your mind just goes blank and the whole world is blackened out that you stand there like a man; no not like a man, but like a broken furniture waiting to be thrown away into the garbage heap. You feel completely helpless because you know fighting this thing is a losing battle, but you being you, look at the doctor with a smile and keep thinking to yourself, maybe I'm the lucky guy. Maybe I can win this. Maybe if I don't think about it I might win. Maybe it might go away. Maybe nothing is gonna happen. Even if something does happen you promise yourself it won't stop you from doing the things you've always wanted to do and you are gonna start doing it right away.
And so you leave the doctor with the report from the pathologist sealed in a thick yellow file and say to yourself, so be it.
It is difficult to accept at first that you've got cancer. But after an hour or two, you learnt to let it go and not worry about it too much because really, there's nothing you can do about it.
And then the news spread and people come up to you with all kinds of stuff they say are good for you and that many have gotten over it and are doing exceedingly well that they are now enjoying life like never before. Some have even married two, or three and four. Good for them. When they go down maybe they can get the wives to bicker among themselves who get the biggest share of the wealth he leaves behind, if he has any left after having to pay for all the herbs that people say are the ultimate cure for cancer.
Different people react differently after having been told that you got cancer. You meet those who got so depressed that they gave up living. And you also meet those who got excited to fight it out with everything they've got that they become more knowledgeable about cancer than an oncologist will ever learn in his/her lifetime. And then you've got those like me, who can't be bothered with it because it is just another form of disease - which may or may not be as serious as meningitis or high blood pressure or heart disease or diabetes or what have you these days that can kill you.
I don't remind myself that I've got cancer. What I do remind myself is life can be taken away from you in a second with or without cancer.
Am I the type who fights it out? I don't think so. Does that mean I've given up on hope that I will be cured? I really don't know because cured or otherwise, what matters most is I live each day to the fullest and not worry about things like cancer.
The truth about cancer? Why would I be interested in the truth about cancer when it is just one of life's inconveniences, like something that got in your eyes, or a slight fever.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

wish you enough, bergen sir.


1:07 AM  
Blogger Kama At-Tarawis said...

That's the spirit, Bergen. May you have His blessinga, ALWAYS.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Justiffa said...

Bergen, i'll be hitting 50 next year and just to celebrate life in all its tragedy & glory, am actually thinking of doing something cra-zeey lol.. jom run a marathon in 2011 nak? ;D

10:21 AM  
Blogger Bergen said...

Torts: Thank you, ma'am.

Kama At-Tarawis: Thank you, ma'am. Have you been to Dungun lately? Kalau ada masa, gi tengok what they've done at pasor lama - it's a nice waterfront walk - beautiful. Makes you very proud to call Dungun your hometown.

Justiffa: Hey, that's a good idea. Let's run marathon - but I can only go for 10km run, lebih dari tu I need time to train.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Saya... said...

Heard about the woman who was worried about dying from her cancer and then got hit by a truck and died ;)?

Good point Bergen...its like a death sentence and one stops living, because that's how one is "supposed" to act...and everyone around you also acts like that..reminding you every second and looking at you with pity/whatever.

Saya pun tengah cari tanah kat Tganu..kalau ade rezeki nak pindah sane. Someone mentioned a piece of real estate kat Dungun...nanti check it out. other place like it.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous mm said...

that's the way, aha.. aha.. i like it aha..aha..

if there's nothing else you can do,let go and let it be..make peace with it..


11:19 AM  
Blogger Justiffa said...

Jom la bergen .. all 42.195km of it!! after all got almost 1 year to train, lets celebrate growing old-er ;p

11:44 AM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
Many people still refer it to the Big C. I don't know why.
And yes, you're right ... life can be taken away from you in a second with or without it.
Wishing you the best, as always.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Zendra-Maria said...

Sir, so what is a little cancer? Living is life-threatening in itself. May Allah grant us strong iman and the wisdom to live our lives on the right path - for that is all that matters.

Still, I do not wish cancer on anyone, especially me, but your attitude's awesome :)

3:44 PM  
Blogger Bergen said...

Saya: So far two friends from the city (born and raised city folks) have bought a nice sea-front land in Dungun. One has built a nice wooden house the other is still making corrections here and there just to drive his architect crazy. Go for it, ma'am.

MM: Yup, make peace, not war.

Justiffa: I'm on it, ma'am.

Fauziah Ismail: Yup, right on the spot there, ma'am.

Zendra-Maria: Thank you, ma'am.

To all the visitors who dropped by, thank you and you folks have a nice day now, y'hear?

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ya...Saya just want a simple Terengganu kampung house..insyaAllah by next year ;)


2:41 PM  
Blogger Zaharan Razak said...

One after my own heart ... sweet surrender is the name of the game ... fade out and fade away ... into the sweet embrace of death ... but for as long as I can yoga, I'd ask the undertaker to wait outside until I'm done with my session ...

12:20 AM  
Blogger White Melur said...

Well said. Yes, do live each day to the fullest, no matter what. Take care:)

11:48 AM  

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