Sunday, October 26, 2008

I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing.

THE LEADER OF THE FIVE PIECE BAND TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS; you can't carry a tune, so please do the world a favour, give us back our microphone and leave the stage to go pick up a hobby like carpentry. I said I know carpentry very well, as a matter of fact I can build you a house if you gave me enough timber. In the end he said; just give us back our microphone and get out of here, will you? I am a pretty smart guy with enough brain to know better that he doesn't like my singing all that much and so I'm thinking, before fists start flying since I am pretty fond of making my point this way, I'd better leave him with his music.
I KNOW I'M MAKING A LOT OF PATRONS SUFFER from a sudden burst of severe headache with my version of Hotel California in a karaoke lounge where me and my friends are having a good time laughing and singing and flirting with women in skirts shorter than a piece of handkerchief. We are laughing and singing but when it is my turn to sing I don't hear no laughter no more. As a matter of fact I thought the world has come to an end and I'm hoping it isn't because of my singing but one of the patrons says that it is and so I go down to him and fists start flying.
ONE TIME IN A PUB LISTENING TO A LIVE BAND playing a happy tune, me and my buddies sing along with the band happy as a parakeet but it's making a lot of patrons uncomfortable that one of them look me in the eye different. I go over and fists start flying and before you know it I pay the desk sergeant RM50 for throwing the first punch. Good thing me and my buddies don't have to spend a night in jail. It would be such a pity since we have just got in to town and have checked in a nice hotel with a nice swimming pool.
ROBERTO FROM THE PHILIPPINES can play the guitar and sing real good. One evening he's in the singing mood and start to do a song I know very well and so I reckon it wouldn't kill anyone if I sing along with him. Half way through the song he says he gotta go. I ask him where are you going? He says I gotta to the toilet. He died three years later in a fire explosion in the middle of Saudi Arabian desert.
WE ARE DRIVING ON A HIGHWAY IN A NEW VOLVO CROSSCOUNTRY and the song comes on the radio. I figure this is as good a time as any to show my romantic side by singing along with the song from the radio. You may think this is a corny thing to do in this day and age but I'm in the singing mood and I know very well I can sound exactly like the guy in the radio. And so I sing as I would sing a national anthem. After I'm done singing she says something like this; can we make a stop at the next Rest Area? I say sure thing, luv. At the Rest Area she goes in to the ladies and I wait and wait for her to come out but she never does. And then my Nokia N95 goes off. It's her. She said something like this; we're through. I reckon it must have been the smell of the new Volvo Crosscountry and so I say to her don't you worry about it, luv, I'll get you a S60. She hung up and never call back. I drive all the way to the end of North to go check in to a hotel and stare at the ceiling thinking one of us is lonely but it doesn't really matter.
I'M IN THE MUSIC STORE looking through one CDs after another and I suddenly have the urge to sing like I would sing a national anthem. There are a few people in the store including a young couple obviously too much in love to notice that I'm about to teach the world to sing...


Blogger tokasid said...

Salam Bergen:

I always like to believe that my singing is at par if not better than the original singer. And I can't understand why some ppl put both hands over their ears when I sing since I know they noded their heads to the same tune on the radio.kepoklekor

3:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous 3.49 said...

Salam Bergen,

Saudara bagus.
Tak ramai yang BRANI KERNA SALAH pada mata/telinga orang lain.

7:32 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Tokasid: I suffer from the same thing you do. LOL. Awat depa tak mau dengar kita nyanyi? Lagu baguih apa. he he

Anonymous 3.49: LOL, berani kerana salah is good - you get things your way and bulldoze those too timid to get their point across.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Pok Deng said...

You posted some horror stories. LOL

6:54 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Pok Deng: I got more where that came from. LOL

9:10 PM  
Blogger Kama At-Tarawis said...

Bergen - I tengah dok sort out my thoughts nok comment pasal yr posting. tengoh pening ni, dok tahu how to approach it..LOL

1:13 AM  
Blogger zackzara said...

Salam Sir,

For me, everyone is a singer. It matters not how awful the song is, but how good the message that the singer is trying to deliver thru his/her song...and how good we are at accepting it.

Let's sing, to our own tune. Forget about the people, they just can't accept the fact that we can sing. :)

9:14 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Kama at-Tarawis: Take your own time, ma'am. LOL. No date-line. No worries. No hurry.

Zackzara: Notice how good we sound when sing along with the radio? Turn it up and you can bet your whole body that you sound exactly like the singer. I do this all the time. he he

10:37 AM  
Blogger Kata Tak Nak said...

I am not going to say I can't sing coz many many years ago I could croon enough to make those Vegas people terminate Mr. Sinatra in search of that elusive Asian voice but I couldn't throw a fist.
If the end depends on who sings better than I guess you'd go but if it depends on who throw a better fist than sayonara.

4:41 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

You used to sing in a band? That, sir, is as good as it gets in singing compared to karaoke. I believe if you can sing in a band, you can sing anywhere. The next level is to sing with an orchestra - now THAT requires a lot of talent and practice.

10:20 PM  
Blogger dee3 said...

i've always found it cute when one sings in the car, and the people next to you start making faces. heh.

and yes, i am one of those who belts my heart out to the tune of the song in the car. best of the best la singing in the car! :D

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Noni said...

I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company...

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Noni said...

I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company...

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Noni said...

I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company...

3:24 PM  

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