Selamat Hari Raya, Aunt Su.

You're gonna have to face this Raya alone, Aunt Su. I won't be home to help you put on a new baju kurung to look good first thing in the morning of Syawal when you can hear the takbir coming in strong from a masjid in front of the old folks' home where you are the only Malay among other occupants.

I'm not going to call you on the phone to wish you Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri. You know I don't do that. Come to think of it I never did that to Grandma, Aunt or Cousin when they were alive. First thing in the morning of Syawal I usually asked Aunt for money to buy me a whole stack of firecrackers so I can burn them good while people were peforming their Solat Sunat Aidilfitri. I don't attend Solat Sunat Aidilfitri because the masjid will be so packed with people and I don't have a father so I could pray right next to him. You need a father if you are hardly seven years old to be at the masjid on a morning of Syawal. Otherwise people are going to say to you; gi belakang! gi belakang! And they chase you like a dog and you'd be so sad thinking why in the world I don't have a father on the morning when you need him most to help you stay in the Saf like your friends. You can't be praying in the women's section together with Grandma, Aunt and Cousin.

And so while Bilal Rosek is leading the takbir, and Imam Wang Long is leading the Solat Sunat Aidilfitri, I burn the firecrackers one stack after another, making such a racket on my own that Syawal is beginning to sound like Kong Hee Fat Choy. By the time Solat Sunat Aidilfitri is done, I'm left with only 2 more stacks of firecrackers to go. And so I ask Aunt for more money when she is home with Grandma and Cousin after they're done praying at the mosque behind our house.

That's how I spend my Raya. I burn firecrackers during Solat Sunat Aidilfitri. I go down to Panggung Happy to buy me one ice cream after another. And then to Kedai Leong Thye to buy one apple after another. By the time it's Zohor, I go back to change into a new set of clothes. And then go down to Panggung Happy again to look at the ticket hustlers fighting for a small space to squeeze their hand to buy tickets for young women waiting in a group like a set of banana trees in the wind. By the time it's Maghrib, I go home to sleep off the first day of Syawal.

I love Hari Raya. Which is why I make sure I don't cry for anyone on this special day. I only think of good times about Grandma, Aunt and Cousin on the day like Syawal. And so if I don't call you to wish you Selamat Hari Raya, you really have to understand where I came from, Aunt Su. But you be sure to have a nice Raya anyway, y'hear? I'll take you eat at your favorite restaurant at Section 14. The waiters there remember you. They remember what you like to eat. That'll be my Raya treat to you. So on the morning of Syawal, just make do with the normal breakfast they serve you at the home. You be good now, y'hear?