Lemme Do It.

Call me anytime of day and night to wash up the dead and I'll come running to help you free of charge. I like to do this thing just as I like to slaughter a cow, and help cook a meal for 400 hungry men and women. I like to do these things so lemme do it if you don't have enough volunteers to help you out.

I like to wash the dead because it reminds me that one day I'm gonna be as dead as the next guy too. And I often wonder who'd wash me. And wrap me up and who'd lead the Solat Jenazah for me. And where would I be buried? Would it be at sea where they've gotta attach a weight so the body can go down to bottom of the sea to lie there like a shipwreck. I've lost count how many dead I've helped wash. My first was Pok Mud Nyior who died alone in his hut behind our house in Dungun. He had lived alone, making a living picking coconuts. He died one night, probably in his sleep. I didn't discover him, a friend did. He went about shouting like a mad dog as if Pok Mud would come alive as a ghost. No one volunteered to help and so I did and that's how I learnt a thing or two about washing the dead from Arwah Pok We Janggut. After that it was easy until I had to wash the body of a colleague who died in a petroleum fire. That got me sleepless for a week. You can't wash much because the flesh kept falling off and the bones showed up. And the eyeballs.

And I like to slaughter cows. I consider this my most favorite thing. I like the sound of the knife slicing through the hide until the blade knocks the neck bone to make a 'tuk' sound. My first was a goat, a billy. Aunt asked me to do it because the men in the village, all of a sudden, refused to help slaughter our goat, and our chicken. I got interested in Meat Science this way but then Catherine came along and it changed everything. I slaughter on average, 6 cows per year during Aidil Adha.

And I like to cook. I like cooking for a lot of people, 300 or more. I like the idea of working out the ingredients in kilos. And I like the idea of strong flame firing up the dish. And I like to see men and women enjoying the dish, asking if there's some left for them to take home. Don't worry, ma'am, I usually cook extra.

The thing I like to do. Next time, lemme do it.