Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Gonna Write It Different.

You and me, girl. You know in your heart this is never gonna work out. I know it too that I'm willing to sell both my ears to the most stingy sausage maker in town. If there is such a sausage maker in town, that is. First of all we're from two different worlds. I want different things and you don't see it any wiser why I should want things completely different from what you consider every egalitarian person alive should have. Maybe I am not egalitarian enough. The truth is I've just heard this word for the first time and heaven knows if I know what it means. That's how different we are. You use big words as natural a speaker as an experienced chef slicing an onion into wafer thin pieces, while I struggle to reproduce those words with four or five syllables in them so I can catch up with you. Never mind about looking the words up in the dictionary. By the time I find out the meaning, you are all fired up to discuss another topic with even bigger words with more than twelve or twenty syllables in them. I can never catch up with you. My brain isn't as bright as yours. Maybe age is the only thing that we share but you gotta face it. We are two different worlds. Yes, I know which school you went to and I'm fully aware which university you did your PhD
Lemme tell you this. While you were learning new things and getting wise at the famous all-girl school, I was out with a couple of friends stealing from beggars on the streets of Penang and missing school at least three days a week. While you were arguing facts and figures with your friends on campus, I was probably half conscious on the floor, locked up in a jail for brawling or eating in public during Ramadan. No, I don't think you and me can be together.
I can't love you. It's not right. It's not right for me to be falling in love with someone like you. You need someone like that guy who went to space. Someone who can argue with you. I can't. I only know how to make a fool of myself by hiding behind stupid jokes that I crack.
Yes, this is good-bye. So long. Adieu. I ain't sad because we never had much going anyway. I ain't sad because this is a good thing for you. It's a good thing. Trust me. Because how can I love you when I still wish for someone like her if I made it to heaven...


Anonymous Noor Hidayah said...

still carrying a torch for catherine?
Move on, Mr Bergen. Like what Amr Diab used to sing..."Mabalash Net Kallem Fi Al Mady"..(Let's forget about the past)

3:59 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

This is one of those post of yours that make me go ..."Sigh...."

ps. sonny is good. stringing words (stringing two out of his 20 word vocab)!! believe or not?? the mommy is on cloud 9. Hope u're feeling better sir?

4:48 PM  
Anonymous zara said...

Write it differently, still am hooked with your blog. Somehow, I find lil peaceful feeling in your virtual home. Thanks, Sir.. for you write it differently.

Sigh...sometimes, its not that we do not want to move on and forget the past, but perhaps thinking about the past do somehow give us lil peaceful feelings, indirectly.


10:36 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Noor Hidayah: No, ma'am. It's not Catherine.

Anedra: Good to have you back, ma'am. Feels like when I first started to blog with you around. I'm nearing the end of the line here with blogging. It's the last run.

Zara: Pleased to make you feel the way you do, ma'am. I write different not because I know how to. It's because I learnt the language different. LOL. Mostly from cowboy movies when I was young, and people I met who speak different.

Thank you for visiting.

12:18 AM  
Blogger tokasid said...

Salam Bergen:

You've tried and you felt that its not compatible.
that is one thing I have to tabik spring to you today. Some ppl they will keep on lying to themselves,saying its gonna work fine.And they try to change their natural habits and wants to accomodate the feeling,thinking and yearning of the other party. Once you do that, you are unnaturally you.You become an actor to yourself,to please your self for just a moment. But time will catch up and suddenly you find that this not right.

I think you made the right decision.For yourself and for her.
Life goes on.And you had so much experiences in life that we could learn from.

10:52 AM  
Anonymous zara said...

true indeed, tokasid.

12:18 PM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
Like a friend used to say, "Move on." Good luck.

4:22 PM  
Blogger norlyda said...

mr.b..emm.u r just like my hubba..yalah ada yang baru..dia pun nak jumpa di sana sebab di sini dah tak mau..at least u single sekarang!
ingatkan catherine mcm noor rupanya..puan jelitawan!

10:43 PM  
Blogger walkthrulife said...

some things just can't be force..

better to let out so other party wouldn't put any hope.

love reading ur blog..

2:35 PM  

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