Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Lycra And Expensive Knee Pads.

Don't ever go to the gym if you are not prepared to spend a good deal of money on a decent gym stuff like expensive tank top with a small logo that everyone knows even at 500 yards, a good pair of shades, luminous lycra, expensive socks and of course, a pair of gym shoes that can cost more than 3 pairs of dinner shoes. Don't forget the bag. You've gotta have a duffel bag or a baseball team bag, or a backpack. A branded one, that is. You can't be going around in a respectable high-profile gym carrying a grocery bag, putting all your gym stuff in there including a toothbrush with a matching toothpaste and stuff like that. It's not illegal but it is almost a sin to be seen strutting a shopping bag emblazoned with the familiar logo like Mydin, Giant, Tesco, Carrefour or Kedai Jahit Sew Sew, Jalan Tambun, Dungun, Trengganu. Do this and you must be out of your mind. They might even consider revoking your membership.
I don't know what got into me but I am now a respectable member of a high-profile gym in the city where the place feels more like a dancing club instead of a joint where you sweat it out while sipping designer mineral water or gulping down one of those over-priced fancy fruit juices they've got at the juice bar. Do all this while watching Bloomberg (and pretend you understand every thing they say) and you are one of the crowd. A guy comes up to you to say, it's a rough place out there today, isn't it? And you go, yea, it's gonna get rougher. He looks at you and say, hey! you know the market. And you go, what in the world is he talking about? Lemme tell you, this is a nice place to go around pretending you are one hotshot health maniac with a nose and ear for high-profile international investment ventures. Of course you've got to come in in a right kinda car, walk the right kinda walk, and talk the right kinda talk. As for me, you don't need to do all this. Just keep your eyes glued to Bloomberg channel while running the mill until your feet hurt from forcing yourself silly all because a pretty girl running next to you looking as if she can go on and on for another three days without even the need for a water break is smiling at you.
And you think to yourself, is she a robot? You know she's not. She's one fit woman in her early 30s you've been trying to chat up to ask whether she knows how to cook gulai lemak pisang muda with ikan masin. You know you won't ask that question. That's not the kind of question a member of a respectable high-profile gym would ask a fellow member. So in the end you say,
Are you training for a marathon?
Ha ha ha, no, I am not.
Oh really? I thought you were. I have the impression you could go on and on for three days.
Ha ha ha.
And that's how we became friends. I went over, made her laugh and we went for a drink and talked talked until it was time to go home. After that I kept going to the gym almost every chance I got, as if I was training for Doha or something. Did everything a member of a respectable high-profile gym would do in a situation like that, the bench presses, crunch, weight, treadmill, everything. In fact I almost lift up the bar top just to show how my strength has improved tremendously since she came to be part of my routine at a respectable gym in the city.
We have so much in common like, we wear the same tank top with a small logo everyone who knows can spot from 500 yards. I can't think of things other than this that we have in common right now. In fact the more I try to think of the things we have in common the more things I find the things we disagree on. In the end we try to avoid each other, going to the gym at different times so we don't have to run into one another. That way we have less things to disagree on. But in the end we found that we kinda miss each other's company since we couldn't find a good partner to argue or disagree about almost everything under the sun.
But we agree on the basics like one needs a good meal to get through the day. Of course we disagree what good food should be. Red meat or white. Brocolli or cabbage. Red wine or Coke. Muesli bar or Snickers. Cadbury or Kit Kat. M&M or Hershey. In the end we agree to disagree that we shouldn't let this get in our way of having a good time together since it is very rarely that we get the chance to meet someone who can sit for hours watching the sky turns dark and wait for the first drop of rain to fall on our cheeks so we can run to the car holding hands, laughing our heads off like two lonely people in love. Two lonely people who don't know what they are doing or where they are going.
Lycra and expensive knee pads, if only they last twice as long.


Blogger nadya said...

i can's spare and hour or so at the gym eventho i really need to excercise (..and eye jogging). being the lazy me.. so lazy to pack the bag, with extra baju n towel n drinks. im so lazy to drive to the nearest gym (about 20-30 min from office/10 min frm home) and trap in the horrible traffic jammed after office hour.

hope u hv fun at the gym..

heeh! and abah send his warmest salam back to you,sir.

many thanks.

9:55 PM  
Blogger k.d said...

Oh gosh..the things people do for love. The pain people endure for the name of love. Hahaha..I hope you got the body to show off after all that work out.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Adah said...

So, Mr.Bergen, do u know how to cook gulai lemak pisang muda with ikan masin?Hehehe..

Have fun at the gym.

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


so now we know why the hiatus :p

9:17 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Nadya: Yes, ma'am. Always have fun at the gym.

K.D: Things people do for love. LOL. I think ada orang kata, lautan api pun sanggup berenang.

Adah: The base is the same as masak lemak cili api. Add pisang muda and nice fresh shrimps. I've got a good supply of ikan terubuk masin from Sarawak. During one of my trips to Malacca I had something like this but the kakak there used jantung pisang instead of pisang muda. She sliced the jantung real thin. Good stuff.

Dee3: How's the weather in Kuching? I thought of spending the new year's eve there.

12:07 PM  
Blogger ubisetela said...


I paid one whole year of gym membership. Used it only twice.. *sigh*

2:53 PM  
Blogger pu1pu3 said...

well written. Like something out of a new york Sunday newspaper.Not that I've read one.
Just felt like it, though.
Amboi, dah firm habis la ni since going to the gym?ehem ehem..

4:12 PM  
Blogger NBB said...

tu semua duniawi...duniawi...

4:13 PM  
Blogger ailin...in aalborg said...

I hope we're going somewhere with this gym-gal. Oh well, if it doesn't work out, at least you'll have the Bod(y) of a God.

And lay off those Cadbury's and KitKats!

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

according to a friend in kch,
weather in kuching (at the mo):
afternoon = ext. hot (read: bahang)
evening = rainy...

well, there's not much celebration during new year over in kch as far as the previous years have shown.

but do come down for a break, dont just wait till the new year la :)

btw, am marooned here in miri. but do go visit kuching, so much more there!

9:28 AM  

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