Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Don't Bluff Lah!

A true blue businessman doesn't spend half a day surfing the net looking for recipes, or write a blog or two in between. He or she is too busy cutting deals making phone calls to be bothered with little culinary questions such as which is better, balsamic vinegar or rice wine vinegar?

I am not a true blue businessman. That's why I spend half a day surfing the net looking for recipes, and write a blog or two in between. I don't know how to cut deals and I don't know anyone to be making important phone calls. And yes, I bother myself with little questions like carbon steel knife is better than stainless steel ones. And I argue this issue in my head on end as if the fate of the world's culinary future depends on my coming to somekind of decision sooner or later.

The debate in my head could go on and on for days had it not been interrupted by a guy who said a big hello to shake my hand as if I was his uncle who had gotten lost in the 2004 Asian tsunami. I was sitting by myself at a table of an el-fresco restaurant minding my own business drinking my coffee like a law-abiding citizen that I am when this dude of a guy in a shirt that didn't match his tie, neither his pants nor his shoes appeared out of nowhere only to arrest my attention with, you, sir, look like a kinda guy who could make it big in life, success, fame, you name it, you've got what it takes to make it big.

(Haiya, don't bluff lah!)

Since I am not a true blue businessman, I figured it wouldn't kill me if I sit ramrod like a statue and let this guy pitch his sale. I just wanted to see how far he could go with that kind of opening statement. So I put on a face, you know, that surprised look as if you've just discovered you had a nose.

Yes, sir, you have the look. I see only straight away I know you are the one.

Okay, I am the lucky one. Make make feel lucky or better still, you can give me all the money you got, plus whatever savings you have in your bank.

Ha ha ha you are not only lucky but you are also funny. Very good very good. May I sit down, sir?

Eh, you don't know ah! I am not a 'sir' you know. I am a Tan Sri. Just pretending only to be a nobody. Actually I am a somebody, you know.

Is itttt?

Yes, aaa?

So why you say I'm lucky?

You see, sir...

Haiya, there you go again, call me Tan Sri! Tan Sri! Tan Sri! You don't know aaa? I'm a real Tan Sri, you know. You never before met a Tan Sri aaah? I am the real one lah. The rest all fakes one. You don't know aaa? Huh huh huh!

Okay, sir, I go first. Thank you.


Moral of the story:
The best way to deal with crazy people is to act crazier than even the craziest people. And you'd better pray to god you don't end up crazy for real.

Better still, don't bluff people lah.

18 Comments:

Blogger rad said...

LOL.Only you can pull that one up! BTW, a blog or two.....*mind wondering*

7:57 AM  
Blogger dee3 said...

*grins*smiles too*

8:56 AM  
Blogger tee said...

aaahh, can feel the frustration in his face. giler ke tak giler orang ni?, i bet that's what been lingerinh in his head after that.. :D

11:29 AM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

What better way to outwit those salesperson, right? (I am assuming he had something to sell). Any more ideas. I usually make them go away by saying .... I don't have any money, sorry.

1:53 PM  
Blogger podgykat said...

Good on you! Hurried away quick didn't he? LOL

2:48 PM  
Blogger Nazrah said...

we have a friend who is often ahead of tissue paper seller. if one approaches his table, he'd ask that person to pay for his meal or simply ask,

"Bak singgit, aku nak beli kopi jap. Haus."

5:24 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

MASTER BERGEN:

hehehe...yup that's right aact crazier than the crazy people you are dealing with.

it as been a long while since i was last here. it is nice to be here again.

8:58 PM  
Blogger torts said...

brilliant!

2:00 PM  
Blogger Mama Rock said...

hehehe...cool tactic!

2:37 PM  
Blogger Blabs said...

Har!! Brilliant! :)

4:52 PM  
Blogger SaR said...

newbie.

eloquent ramblings of a crazy mind :o)

keep it up!

12:20 AM  
Blogger hawkeye said...

or you could pretend to do sign language..make him believe that you do not understand what he says unless it's in sign language.

4:19 PM  
Blogger Ariel said...

LOL.

4:50 PM  
Blogger NBB said...

balsamic vinegar tu vinegar from balsam ke? i thought shampoo je guna balsam balsam ni.

8:51 AM  
Blogger Sayuti said...

sir,
that was a good one. haha.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Sayuti said...

i mean, tan sri. not sir. haha

7:49 PM  
Blogger RedKebaya said...

when i took a break from blogging you werent posting anything for a while. glad to see that u hadnt really stopped :)

yea.. i hate having people sneak up on me with a sales pitch or whatever especially when i'm trying to stuff my face lol yelah nak mkn pun tak senang kan!!

2:19 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Rad: I was desperate.

Dee3: I am not quite sure how to respond to this. Okay, I might as well grin too.

Tee: I must have been a nut case to him. A real one.

QOTH: No money thing is good. I should give it a shot.

Podgykat: Faster than I could say, what are you selling?

Nazrah: That trick is good. Can't wait to give it a shot.

DIM: Good to see you, sir. How have you been?

Torts: Do you really think so? Thanks.

Mama Rock: LOL.

Blabs: Do you get 'em in Cairo too, ma'am?

Sar: That's a good title, although I am not too sure about being eloquent. LOL.

Nefertiti: Too bad I couldn't do that. The waitresses in that establishment knew I talk. LOL.

Ariel: Thank you, ma'am.

Dr Nurul Bahiyah Baharudin: Can you mix this up in your lab? Maybe that way you can make it more affordable for me.

Sayuti: You're welcome, sir. I mean Encik Sayuti. I mean Tuan Sayuti.

RedKebaya: It's good to see you again, ma'am.

To everyone, thank you for dropping by. Have a nice day.

3:19 PM  

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