Don't Bluff Lah!

A true blue businessman doesn't spend half a day surfing the net looking for recipes, or write a blog or two in between. He or she is too busy cutting deals making phone calls to be bothered with little culinary questions such as which is better, balsamic vinegar or rice wine vinegar?

I am not a true blue businessman. That's why I spend half a day surfing the net looking for recipes, and write a blog or two in between. I don't know how to cut deals and I don't know anyone to be making important phone calls. And yes, I bother myself with little questions like carbon steel knife is better than stainless steel ones. And I argue this issue in my head on end as if the fate of the world's culinary future depends on my coming to somekind of decision sooner or later.

The debate in my head could go on and on for days had it not been interrupted by a guy who said a big hello to shake my hand as if I was his uncle who had gotten lost in the 2004 Asian tsunami. I was sitting by myself at a table of an el-fresco restaurant minding my own business drinking my coffee like a law-abiding citizen that I am when this dude of a guy in a shirt that didn't match his tie, neither his pants nor his shoes appeared out of nowhere only to arrest my attention with, you, sir, look like a kinda guy who could make it big in life, success, fame, you name it, you've got what it takes to make it big.

(Haiya, don't bluff lah!)

Since I am not a true blue businessman, I figured it wouldn't kill me if I sit ramrod like a statue and let this guy pitch his sale. I just wanted to see how far he could go with that kind of opening statement. So I put on a face, you know, that surprised look as if you've just discovered you had a nose.

Yes, sir, you have the look. I see only straight away I know you are the one.

Okay, I am the lucky one. Make make feel lucky or better still, you can give me all the money you got, plus whatever savings you have in your bank.

Ha ha ha you are not only lucky but you are also funny. Very good very good. May I sit down, sir?

Eh, you don't know ah! I am not a 'sir' you know. I am a Tan Sri. Just pretending only to be a nobody. Actually I am a somebody, you know.

Is itttt?

Yes, aaa?

So why you say I'm lucky?

You see, sir...

Haiya, there you go again, call me Tan Sri! Tan Sri! Tan Sri! You don't know aaa? I'm a real Tan Sri, you know. You never before met a Tan Sri aaah? I am the real one lah. The rest all fakes one. You don't know aaa? Huh huh huh!

Okay, sir, I go first. Thank you.


Moral of the story:
The best way to deal with crazy people is to act crazier than even the craziest people. And you'd better pray to god you don't end up crazy for real.

Better still, don't bluff people lah.