Blogging Courtesy.

Don't be offended if people you are having dinner with consider you a village idiot when you don't know there is such a thing as table manners. It's not a big deal to me if you don't know about such a thing as I would usually pretend not to see what you are doing. I was once like that too and decided to do something about it. I figured it was wrong for me to appear rude all because I was ignorance about something as basic as table manners. People are usually sympathetic. They won't look at you as if you have committed a grave sin. Afterall not everyone is born with the knowledge to know about which spoon to use first, or whatever. And you won't spend good money to learn about this at a finishing school. We learn as we go along. But I believe it is wrong for you to consider this a western culture and that you plan to abolish this practice by showing to everyone at the table that you are the champion of all things eastern and therefore it is okay for you to jab the steak with your fingers and jam it into your mouth.

I believe there is a set of manners for everything. There's a set of manners how to eat banana leaf rice. The same way goes for udon noodles, tajin chicken, tomyam, ikan bakar or ice-cream. I consider conforming to the manners a good way to appear humble. That's what manners are for. I believe in Fiqh it's called tertib. It doesn't hurt to appear tertib. In fact I think it brings out the artistic side of a human being, the hidden beauty in each and every one of us.

There is even a set of manners on how to dress correctly. How to choose a shirt, a tie, belt, shoes, pants, socks, dinner or sports jacket and so on. All this will make a man appear sharp. Of course you can be a rebel by not conforming to the manners but in most cases, it is not so much of a rebel in you that you are trying to bring out. More like your ignorance and you cover this up by appearing to be at war with the correct way of matching your belt, shoes and socks.

Same way with blogging. I believe there are manners associated with blogging too. Visiting someone's blog, to me, is like going over to a friend's or a stranger's house to listen to what he or she wishes to share. I either agree, or disagree with an entry. In most cases, I'd rather agree since the whole idea about blogging is to make friends, not enemies. Of course you can disagree and still remain friends but there is a set of manners how to disagree.

Since I have a lot of free time, I usually login the blogs I visited the day before to see if the host has up-dated an entry, or have taken the time to reply to the comments. It's nice to read the reply, really. I enjoy it. It gives me the sense that the host acknowledges my presence and he or she is kind enough to engage a stranger like me in a conversation. It may be a short one but it is a conversation nonetheless. Now this, to me, is manners. A common courtesy.

I believe it is good manners to acknowledge someone who has just said something to you. It shows you appreciate his or her effort to get to know you. I have stopped visiting blogs where the host doesn't bother to acknowledge your comment. I consider this rude. It leaves me with the impression that the host doesn't need my friendship. For all I know he doesn't even want you to read the entry in the first place. He might even consider you a pest for coming in and leaving comments as if there is a prize for doing that. I was surpirsed that famous people like Yasmin or Afdlin took the trouble to reply to a comment. That's humility and I have nothing but respect for people with such a personality.

To me this is the same as saying 'hello' to a stranger but instead of a smile, all you get is this blank stare from him as if you have just interrupted his line of thinking on the physics of how to turn water into fuel so the world doesn't have to depend on fossil fuel anymore.

It doesn't hurt to be courteous, friendly, warm and hospitable. It's a rude world out there.