Tuesday, April 14, 2009

So Long, Ma'am...

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT for the last breath. She'd done fighting. She knew it was over. She knew it was time to go.
She had been hooked to a machine with wires connected to every part of her frail body. Around 4.37 in the morning, she opened her eyes briefly to look me over. I swear she smiled for a brief second. I swear she did. I know that smile so well. And then she left me alone in a room where I stood like a pole, thinking to myself how do I make myself cry but all I could do was to think of all the beautiful moments I had spent with you the last few weeks.
Nurses came running, talking to me and asking  me questions, but I didn't hear nothing. I thought I saw you walked out the room. I thought you turned to look at me briefly to smile one more time. And then I didn't see you no more.
You rest  easy now, ma'am. Rest easy in a lonely plot at Mount Kiara. It was the best funeral I could give. We don't know all that many people to come around to recite the doa' but I believe the Imam of Masjid Al-Hidayah was as good a man as a friend to stand next to me to say goodbye to you one last time. I didn't want to bring your friends from the home to see you this way. They asked me about you this afternoon when I went there to pack your stuff in a bag you loved so much because you said it made you want to go to some place nice. And you asked if we could travel up to Sungai Petani and all the way to Kangar one more time. Just you and me in a car stopping at one small town after another to have a bit to eat.
So long, Aunt Su. So long, ma'am. I will always remember that smile for the rest of my life...


31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Takziah. You were good to her. May she RIP. Ameen.

-ms lambchop-

12:42 AM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

al Fatehah. Salam takziah and b strong.

1:53 AM  
Anonymous sham said...

Al Fatehah. Be strong bergen sir..

3:35 AM  
Blogger mekyam said...

salam takziah, bergen. al-fatihah to yr aunt.

6:19 AM  
Blogger Kama said...

Oh Bergen, you broke me down...
Al-Fatihah for the late Aunt Su.
Be strong and take care..

6:44 AM  
Blogger ubisetela said...

Takziah Bergen.
*AlFatihah*

7:13 AM  
Blogger Sir Pök Déng said...

Be strong uncle bergen. Big boy doesn't cry, remember? I know you're a strong man.

Al-Fatihah.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Fi-sha said...

Dear En Bergen
Alfatihah for Aunt Su. She's blessed and so do you. Take care

8:08 AM  
Blogger Snakebite said...

takziah. al fatehah

8:51 AM  
Blogger Aida said...

Al-Fatihah for Aunt Su.

8:54 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:23 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Salam takziah to you. ALfatehah to arwah Aunt Su. May Allah place her with the solehah.

Be strong.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Zendra said...

إنا لله و إنا إليه راجعون

May her soul be placed among the righteous.

12:56 PM  
Blogger An-Nimr said...

إنا لله و إنا إليه راجعون

May Allah have mercy on her and grant patience to you.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous zara said...

Sir,

Salam Takziah. May she rest in peace, and placed among the righteous one in Jannah and may all HE blessed her.

I know my Sir Bergen is strong enough to face this one.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Pi Bani said...

Salam takziah. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

3:54 PM  
Blogger Ina said...

Dear Sir,

It's not easy to lose loved ones. Sometimes we need to have a moment to 'remember' them. At least you could write about Aunt Su, that's one way to let her go... I don't have the strength to write about my brother yet. Soon, I hope, soon... Al-fatihah to all our dearly departed...

6:58 PM  
Blogger farah said...

My condolences, sir. Hang in there.

~ Al-Fatihah ~

7:35 PM  
Blogger mamasita said...

Sorry to hear your Aunt dah passed away.I am very sure you had loads of love from her.
Al-Fatehah untuk aruah mak saudara you Bergen, semoga rohnya tergolong bersama mereka yang soleh dan dirahmati Allah swt.

10:20 PM  
Blogger f said...

Takziah, Sir. Al-fatihah

12:36 AM  
Blogger Eve Orchid said...

Assalamualaikum Bergen,
I am so sorry I missed Aunt Su's funeral. But today, I also received the sad news of someone's passing. And to think I am in Malaysia, with no way of attending her funeral! That is even sadder.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Prissy said...

Dear Bergen, my condolences on your Aunt Su's passing. May her soul rest in peace.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous julie said...

My condolonces on your lost, sir.

al-fatihah.

10:16 AM  
Blogger amoi said...

takziah...semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang soleh...aminnn...

11:18 AM  
OpenID azudesu said...

Takziah, dear sir...

7:54 PM  
Blogger nadya.s said...

salaam bergen,
..just get the chance to read the post


alfatehah to aunt su and may she rest in peace.

takziah dari nad, abah & kluarga diraub.

9:01 PM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
Al Fatehah.

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Dhahran Sea said...

Salam Sir Bergen,
Where have you been for soooooo long? And now that I got a chance to read your latest posting, I was dumbfounded with the news! Al fatihah to Aunt Su and take care.

12:28 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Thank you.

1:05 AM  
OpenID bubblesofthoughts said...

Alfatihah. Moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Pootz in Boots said...

U are really lucky to have spent the last few weeks with Aunt Su. Al Fatehah to her soul.....

1:17 PM  

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