So Long, Ma'am...

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT for the last breath. She'd done fighting. She knew it was over. She knew it was time to go.

She had been hooked to a machine with wires connected to every part of her frail body. Around 4.37 in the morning, she opened her eyes briefly to look me over. I swear she smiled for a brief second. I swear she did. I know that smile so well. And then she left me alone in a room where I stood like a pole, thinking to myself how do I make myself cry but all I could do was to think of all the beautiful moments I had spent with you the last few weeks.

Nurses came running, talking to me and asking  me questions, but I didn't hear nothing. I thought I saw you walked out the room. I thought you turned to look at me briefly to smile one more time. And then I didn't see you no more.

You rest  easy now, ma'am. Rest easy in a lonely plot at Mount Kiara. It was the best funeral I could give. We don't know all that many people to come around to recite the doa' but I believe the Imam of Masjid Al-Hidayah was as good a man as a friend to stand next to me to say goodbye to you one last time. I didn't want to bring your friends from the home to see you this way. They asked me about you this afternoon when I went there to pack your stuff in a bag you loved so much because you said it made you want to go to some place nice. And you asked if we could travel up to Sungai Petani and all the way to Kangar one more time. Just you and me in a car stopping at one small town after another to have a bit to eat.

So long, Aunt Su. So long, ma'am. I will always remember that smile for the rest of my life...