Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A Scholarly Kinda Guy Buying Books.

Uploaded by Bergen.

PEOPLE ARE GONNA LAUGH so hard until their eyeballs dry up when they read this. Scholarly looking kinda guy is out to buy books for his house because he's figured now that he is a university student and all, it's about time he does something about the living room to make it look scholarly and academic because that way, he can have people say something like this; what a scholarly and academic kinda guy you are! And the scholarly and academic kinda guy would be red in the face, taking in the compliments coming from friends who drop by for a bit of dinner now that they know the scholarly and academic kinda guy is gonna pan-sear a stack of lamb cutlets later in the evening. To the scholarly and academic kinda guy, people can say all the nice things in the world the whole day long and he wouldn't mind one bit because it's nice to receive the compliments from where they came from even though he knows people who give compliments freely are usually not very honest about it.
Now that the scholarly and academic kinda guy has got the bookshelves installed, all he needs to do is to go out and buy books to fill up the shelves with but before he does that, he's gotta figure what kinda books he should buy because you know how it is, people judge you by the book you read. And the scholarly and academic kinda guy isn't the reading kind himself to know any better what kinda books he should buy because the only book he's read from page one right up to the last page is a book about how to sharpen knives. It took him two years to leaf through all the 40 pages. It is the best book he's ever read and he doesn't see any reason why he should read any other books.
But now that he's a university student and all, people around him talk about this book and that book which got him to feel left out that he's decided to do something about it to catch up. He's started to make frequent visits to bookstores and such, putting up a behavior as if he's a well-read and learned kinda guy going on a book hunt, seeking to broaden his horizon of knowledge or something like that. And so he bought two books; a manual how to repair mountain bikes, and a book about the mechanics of brush fire, which is different from petroleum fire. He's figured it'll take him at least 5 years to read these books from cover to cover since the words are printed small but that's okay because the books have nice, big and colorful pictures to look at if the reading gets a little too rough.

Note: The image is not the living room of the scholarly and academic kinda guy.


Blogger Zabs said...

Salam Bergen,
Saya semasa muda dulu tidaklah berapa minat membaca buku2 ilmiah selain dari yang berkaitan dengan pekerjaan saya.
Kini setelah bersara, mula membeli buku2 untuk rujukan. Tetapi kerana kekerapan membeli buku adalah lebih maju dari kekerapan membaca, menjadikan banyak lagi buku yang telah dibeli tidak dibaca lagi..

7:30 AM  
Blogger Fi-sha said...

Salam. Dear En Bergen, thanks for 'reminding me' that i havent been reading, as much as i should (well based on 1 book per week NY resolution).

Don't you think the books you gather in your house reflect who you are as a person?

7:50 AM  
Blogger Kata Tak Nak said...

Wow you read books. Wish I could be daring enough to touch those things. You must really be a scholarly and academically kind a guy.

8:46 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Zabs: We're in the same boat. At least you buy and read those books later. I hardly do either. he he

Fi-sha: A-book-a-week is a good resolution, and it would take almost everything I've got to keep it going. Good luck, I'm sure you can do it. I do believe people judge you by the kinda book you read, maybe it the same thing with we are what we eat principle.

Kata Tak Nak: Cikgu, ha ha, you refer to books as 'those things'. That's good. LOL. No, sir, I'm just trying to be scholarly and academic kinda guy, it's not the real mccoy. It's an optical illusion. he he.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Kama said...

Oh dear... 'those things!" hehehe..
Bergen, ppl who read lots of books are usually kera sumbang and I mean this in a nice way. they prefer their own company to others. in other words, they are loners. Judging from the bergen that I know, you are a loner x100, so how come you don't read? Or maybe you like to surf the net, kot..

9:52 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Kama: I think I like that, a loner x100. LOL, macam formula math, a loner to the power of 100, or is it square root? he he

9:58 AM  
Blogger Pootz in Boots said...

Bergen doesn't read "those things?" Cheh.....

10:28 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Pootz In Boots: What to do. he he

12:11 PM  
Blogger Ĺaptop™ said...

I bought books and after reading them, traded in for different books. The cycle went on for several rounds until I needed to buy new books. And the book store owner was quite please with the arrangement.
hehehe.. this was during my school days.
Wonder if such practice is still available.

3:31 PM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
For starters, get yourself the encyclopedia, the entire A-Z volume if possible. You can also choose the subject matter such as medical, science or heck, even knives, if the publishers have it.
Coffeetable books make good decorative pieces on the shelf too ... hehehehe!

p/s: I have books, no shelves. Want some of mine?

6:21 PM  
Blogger ina said...

Dear Sir,

Hehehe... Well, that's a start, anyway. 2 books that you find interesting are much better than hundreds to just fill up your book case...hehehe. My husband and me read and collect books, now we have filled up all the bookcase space at home (both Malaysia and Sudan)... But sad to say, since I discovered 'things' to read on the net, I've neglected my books... been trying to finish reading Adibah Amin's 'As I Was Passing' for the past week...hehehe...All I can say is, good luck being a scholarly and acdemically kind of guy...

10:51 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Laptop: It's a brilliant deal, you get to read a lot books without spending all that much money on books. Are shops like this still in business today?

Fauziah Ismail: I hear you, ma'am. Coffee table books are good, they usually have nice glossy pictures. Maybe I should start on this and work myself from there. Are you selling or are you giving it away as a goodwill gesture to help a scholarly and academic kinda guy kickstart his version of a mini library? he he

10:54 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Ina: It's not easy to be a scholarly and academic kinda guy he he.

10:56 PM  
Blogger dee3 said...

can i have your shelves, please?

haha not all books are scholarly (heh) just a matter of different sides to the cube of life, methinks.

(tumpang lalu): (kak) fauziah: me wants books, can kah?

me wants shelves AND dagwood super duper sandwich from our dear sir

note: even though the image of the living room of the scholarly and academic kinda guy.. the image is sure pretty!

11:24 AM  
Blogger dee3 said...

oops ooppps salah!

the notation should've read:
even though the image of the living room is NOT of the scholarly and academic kinda guy.. the image is sure pretty!

me never had an encyclopedia set, neither have i read one, nor have i ever wanted one, and still i dont want to have one! hehehe

11:29 AM  
Blogger Monster Mom said...

I have 20 books to give away... u want some??

8:12 PM  
Blogger dee3 said...

monster mom: me ka, or mr. bergen?
(small voice: want lah.. hehe)

11:37 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Dee: LOL, Dagwood sandwich, cottage cheese, cheddar cheese and feta cheese thrown in, layers and layers of bologna, salami, roast beef, and tomato, lettuce, pickle, olives, onion, three types of sauce, a dash of white pepper - weighs almost a ton. he he.

Monster Mom: Those books have big colorful pictures and not much words in small print. Okay, I can go pick it up if that's isn't much of a trouble with you.

12:59 AM  
Blogger getoffmyface said...

u know what......i read everything and anything. i don't even care what people think of me and how they judge me. if i read, people will still say something, if i don't read people will still say something. whatever i do in life, people will definitly still have an opinion about me. So, I read, eat and be merry :)So, let's eat lamb chop man and be happy that we can eat while read and read while eat...ha ha ha...(hari ini ada sedikit perasaang keciwa dengan manusia..he he he)

-the pseudo-scholarly ms.lamb chop-

12:00 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

GOMF: I hear you, ma'am. We should do what we feel like doing and we should read what we feel like reading. I for one agree to that 100%

12:29 PM  
Blogger An-Nimr said...

Golap la bilik tu bang...

My dream library at home is one with those white bookcases, a big white soft sofa with big cushions and footstools and throws, and loads of sunshine coming in through the french windows opening out into the garden...

And my young Mexican gardener bringing me tea and giving me foot massage while I fantasize, eh...READ.

1:21 PM  
Blogger An-Nimr said...

And oh....the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach, which will be about 300 metres from my library (takut monsoon waves nanti)...with the smell of lamb being prepared by Bergen wafting from my kitchen...

Makcik Gemok Resort for sale 3.5 million kat Kapas Island..saya tengah pecah tabung anak2 nih...tapi tak cukup2 laaa....35 ringgit baru..tolong top up leh?

1:25 PM  
Blogger cakapaje said...

Salam Bergen,

Lol! No, I'm not laughing at you, but at what you wrote :)

Been quite a while I've been here as last I remember, you were taking time off to go somewhere.

9:06 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

An-Nimr: Running a Makcik Gemok Chalet may seem fun if you watch from a distant, but it's a completely different story if you've gotta keep the chalet up and running, day in day out, year in year out. If you are sure this is what you wanna do, I believe we should look at some diagrams and charts.

Shah: Hey, it's good to have you back in here, mate!

10:57 PM  
Blogger An-Nimr said...

what diagrams and charts...interested ka? got 3, 499,965 million tak? heheh..kalau ade...SET! tapi time monsoon you dok sane ek...I got phobia big waves meh!

11:35 PM  
Blogger Kama said...

Bergen - for starters, I propose you start collecting flyers, leaflets and brochures. Start small lah, then progress to comics (please don't stop there, ok!) then baru beli buku.. Buku you buy those cheap paperbacks dulu.. last on your list baru coffee-table books sebab they are mostly for show, bukan for baca..

12:06 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

An-Nimr: Nothing to worry about, ma'am. The waves are quite beautiful if you watch from a safe distant, but of course at night when you can't see anything, standing by the beach, and having the waves suddenly appearing white as a hungry sea creature coming out of the darkness, it can be scary if you watch it for the first time.

Kama: I've been collecting Carrefour, Mydin and Giant flyers for a while now to have a good stock of what they've had on sale the last few years. So you see, I'm making serious effort to get my mini library started. he he.

12:13 AM  
Blogger Bijou said...

Bergen Sir,

Wish you all the best for this mission. LOL. I started my own mini library with 10' x 8' ft space, get really excited at the beginning with the books arrangement on shelves, put an L shape sofa there so that I can golek2 while reading la konon, but now the space have filled up and I have no plan to extend it to another room that I'm now start collecting ebooks where the storage capacity not worrying me with the dust and so fast in finding any book that I want.

Did u know that we can do beads from flyers, leaflets and brochures? Collecting it may benefit you in future. Suddenly i get an idea to design a bead machine for paper beads..Hmmmm..

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Cik_kembang said...

Salam Mr. B.

I like your idea about starting your own mini library at home. I never have one myself coz all the book shelves are filled with my folded clothes..LOL.. but I like collecting books, so what I did was I keep all the books in my office where all of them are arranged alphabetically according to subject matter such as agriculture, fisheries, livestock, floriculture, horticulture and..etcc and whenever I've got a visitor, instead of having a discussion with me..at least for a good 30 mins, they were busy pondering and taking it out from the shelves enthusiastically and end up borrowing them..hehehe and being a half Chinese myself, I do believe if u keep lots of books in the office,it brings a good feng-shui. I plan to add one section/subject on "love and relationship"..LOL. coz I think it will boost up my confidence levels to the optimum..hahaha..

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Liza said...

Hi Bergen,

What kind of studies you are doing at the university? Pardon me for asking :)

11:59 AM  
Blogger f said...


Still no update? *yawn*

Btw, Salaam Maulidurrasul, sir. :)

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm.... f,

i think our dear sir bergen is currently busy with his march test..

good luck to you, dear sir!

9:13 AM  
Blogger f said...

oh! ok. thanks, azudesu. :)

7:59 PM  
Blogger Snakebite said...

saya ada 3 almari di rumah. satu almari penuh dengan buku.

buku-buku nya ialah: gila-gila, ujang, calvin n hobbes, tintin,asteryx n obelyx, motorbike mags, car mags, lat's kpg boy, town boy.

i consider myself very scholarly.

satu lemari lagi: koleksi pedang keris, kapak, kerambit, badik dan senjata melayu lain.

satu lagi lemari: katana, kukri, sai, nunchaku, knives and other weapons of the eastern seas.

i wonder now, whether the contents of my almari are the reason why nobody wants to come to my house

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Tomorrow's your BIRTHDAY!!!


( just in case I forgot,,hehe )

5:04 PM  
Blogger Awang Goneng said...

Hiya Pak Bergen,


The second-hand book trade is dying in Britain. One vendor told me that only the 50+ buy second-hand books nowadays (not the x100s eh?). But, he said, the new rich now buy books by the yard to fill up their shelves in their newly acquired stately homes or pieds on the ground. Just that.
Re Fauziah Ismail's suggestion above (Hi Fauziah!) about buying a whole set of encyclopaedias, that's sound. A man once ordered just one thick book called 'How to Hug' only to discover, when it arrived, that it was the 4th volume of the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
Happy birthday to you mate. Er when is/was it?

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Man...scary. Any lemari with dead bodies? or rather skeletons in the closet...ie people that you hacked up with those weapons?


5:22 PM  
Blogger f said...

Selamat Hari Lahir, Tuan Bergen!
Semoga semua mimpi menjadi kenyataan.



8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Awang Goneng,
The answer is March 21st!!

5:03 PM  
Blogger Snakebite said...


all those things utk hiasan je, i happen to be a hobbyist. i m a very timid person actually tapi can scare some ppl la, like u for eg. skeleton in the lemari? banyaaakkk.

en. bergen,
happy besdey, semoga panjang umur dan bahagia always, continue writing bcos i like reading, make me feel scholarly...

12:35 PM  
Blogger Awang Goneng said...

Azudesu Sama,

Ah so!

Mr Bergen's born in the same month as hares go haywire! ;¬)

Domo どうも。

6:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awang Goneng 様、

p/s : Sorry.. I was too excited when I saw the word 'doumo' in hiragana.. hehe

9:32 PM  
Blogger Mior Azhar said...

Salam Bergen,
You are what you read, or so they said. right? and I only read Princess Diaries kinda books.. I bought them konon for my daughters.
Give me those scholarly looking book, I'll go to sleep. Lagi2 kalau pasal knives hohoho.. And as for those heavy duty economic politico stuff, I simply cannot go there, too much burden for my brain.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous zara said...

I feel scholarly kinda lady with everyday reading about facts facts and more facts but am too tired reading the first 2 pages halfway that I went to sleep on my desk, normally. But with those things, it put me to sound sleep more faster than anything else.

ps: New entry is necessary, as I'm kinda missed your writings.

10:47 AM  

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