Let It All Hang Out.

Uploaded by Bergen

PEOPLE SAY I SHOULD TAKE LIFE EASY, stop and smell the flowers every now and then, enjoy the breeze and the sun and the birds and the bees and the insects and everything this green earth has got coming for me. All this, people say, can make me a happy person. Lead a happy lifestyle people say, with a bit of luck I don't have to go see a doctor to check on my blood pressure every now and then because you know what people say about blood pressure which is not good for me if you are in the same age as mine which is forty eight going on forty nine on the first day of spring and that would be 21 March.

I don't have a garden where I can I stop and smell the flowers every now and then to keep my blood pressure down. You see, I'm not much of a garden kinda guy and for that matter neither am I a floral kinda guy to be prancing about like a court jester smelling one flower after another like a bee getting itself drunk before going off to a party to meet up female bees. I don't like flowers all that much because it is not too good for the masculine side of my personality. But flowers are the least of my worry because they can't make my blood pressure to go up on any given day. But hangers, now this is something else.

I am at war with hangers. And this is permanent. Nothing can raise my blood pressure like this device that I can't live without because I keep a few dozen of them to arrange my clothes in a neat row according to the weekly-sequence that I've worked out long time ago. They are not much of a problem if I keep them on a railing, but pile them on a bed and you've got yourself a chemistry problem picking them up one by one. Somehow they'll entangle themselves to one another to make my life miserable which in turn, raises my blood pressure to a boiling point. But I'm not going to lose this war and I've got a strategy.

First: I know hangers are out to turn my life into a wreck but I'm not going to give them this pleasure. 

Two: I've learnt a thing or two about staying cool when it comes to dealing with entangled hangers. Take a deep breath, remove them one by one, all the time whistling a happy tune like 'You take the high road, I take the low road, soon we'll be back in Scotland' or how about this one: 'Brown Girl In The Ring' by Boney M, or 'Mama Mia ' by Abba or 'Rendezvous' by Tina Charles.

For weeks I've done this and the result is simply amazing. I now go to a big store like Carrefour or Giant to hunt for hangers, hoping that the store clerks pile them all up together and when they can't pull them out one by one, I'm right there to do the job. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of starting a company, or hangers anonymous to help people who might have to face the same predicament as I used to when they've got issues with hangers.