Monday, July 09, 2007

Don't Order That Pasta, Ma'am.

All it takes is a high-class restaurant, a high-class talk, a high-class lunch with a high-class businesswoman, and a wrong food to look stupid with white sauce foaming in the mouth as if she's down with a serious fits of epilepsy.
It is none of my business when she decides to order Carbonara for lunch but I've seen what a plate of pasta with Carbonara sauce can do to you especially if you don't have the necessary skill to chew it slowly, all time being very careful not to let the sauce finding its way out of your mouth through the openings along the lips. It doesn't take a guy with extra brain to know that Carbonarra is best enjoyed at home, preferably alone. It's not the kinda food you'd want to have when you gotta talk business, prices, production schedule, logistics, delivery points and stuff like that.
I don't want to tell her to be careful with this Carbonara thing but after she's taken in about three spoonful down, I decide not to continue with lunch which must have piqued her a bit that she asks, why aren't you eating?
Of course I feel like saying, you're foaming in the mouth I'd better call the ambulance. Instead I say something like, I think the prices you quoted is too high.
And she chomps chomps chomps the pasta, and the white sauce keeps foaming like soap around the lips that I can't help but to look the other way because by this time I'm definitely not hungry anymore.
She still has about 3/4 plate of pasta left and I calculate in my head, at the rate she's eating, she's gonna take about 10 minutes to finish it all up but I know better that things are going to be even more foamy when the sauce thickens in this aircond room. And so I say, well I'm gonna leave it all up to you to give me a fair price. I pay in US Dollars and I've got my people to handle customs and the logistics to ship the whole thing to Sudan.
I pick up my cellphone and say something like, aww, man, when did it happened? Okay, I'm on my way.
I tell her, listen, ma'am, sorry to leave you this way but I've got an emergency at the site. Don't worry about it, the check has been paid for.
No way I'm gonna be seen with a woman foaming in the mouth with Carbonara sauce in the middle of a hot afternoon. Not even when she's Elizabeth Taylor.


Blogger Nak Tak Nak said...

What? Carbonarra sauce in the afternoon? You can't be serious? Err by the way, what's carbonarra sauce?

9:47 PM  
Blogger Sayuti said...


incoming... insyaAllah in December.


p/s: nak tak nak... what carbonara? google can help you answer that question y'know.

10:27 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

Master Bergen:

Well, at least you have the courtesy to leave in a gentlemanly manner and not to offend the lady.

And the lady reminds me of how much I my self lack in having a little be of manner.

Another unwanted-after-leaving-a lousy comment gift for you.

The Signs We Make

Stick up and split your index and middle finger,
and put them straight on their face,
don't you be amuse or wonder,
how it'll trigger a smile and even a pink lace,


put down either one of those finger,
and point it straight at their face,
and prepare to run faster than a swelled river,
to save your self from what would come after.


Stop running and try opening up your arms,
add a little bit smile as a charm,
you'll see that they'd become calm,
and even offer you some ale as alms,


Stop running and put up your fists,
add a little bit of hiss as a twist,
stand your ground like a dying priest,
and don't forget to be gratefull for all God's bliss.

Then after,

Remind me back which one you are,
the chaser or the one being chased so far,
for both makes no different seing from a moving car,
all the same in man's mad war.

12:13 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Cikgu: Sayuti is right, you can google about this. Not that I don't want to tell you how to cook it but I reckon Google's better.

Sayuti: So you are gonna be a father, eh? Now THAT is good news. I'm sure you'll raise your child good.

DIM: When you see a lady foaming in the mouth, whether it's gentlemanly or otherwise, you'd better figure a way to get out there the fast you can. LOL.

To every who drop by, thank you. I have to post the entry 'There No Tolerance In Aqidah' because it is kinda important that I do that.

You folks have a nice day now, y'hear?

8:45 AM  
Anonymous elviza said...

Errr, thanks for the reminder Mr Bergen. I ll be sure not to order it during my lunch meeting or dinner.

Usually I stick to club sandwich for business lunch, a plate of which I dont really eat but just push it around.

Am never sure what people would say about my eating manner.

Good day Mr. Bergen

11:08 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Club sandwich is the safest and a good decoration that goes very well with business discussion.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
Nothing for me that makes me foam in the mouth or splatter all over the front of my blouse or shirt (no pasta or noodle soups)! To avoid these lunch accidents, I skip lunch especially if I have meetings to attend.

1:46 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Good idea. Laksa is another bad idea to have before a business meeting.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Theta said...

A good colleague-turn-friend has this problem as well but I don't have the heart to say anything.
More often than not, I just looked the other way or looked at my own plate.
Luckily, she's a fast eater!

7:13 AM  

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