Friday, June 08, 2007

Big Time Snatch Thieves.

Now that it is no longer fashionable to snatch handbags from women walking down the street, the thieves have started to think big by snatching ATMs from the banks using trucks with hydraulic lifter. Now THAT is really going global but unfortunately most of these thieves are too lazy to work out the logistics of uprooting an ATMs out of its casing, push it onto the hydraulic lifter of a waiting truck, raise the floor board to the level of the truck bed, give it a last push, drive away to a workshop, get the prying tools going, tear the machine up, share the money, spend it as if money is going out of style, and when the money runs out, look out for another ATMs to snatch.
It can take a good 15 minutes to set everything ready before you can yank an ATMs out of its housing. I use the word yank hoping that you can imagine the sound this whole operation will make. If you do this at 3am, you might as well multiply the noise by 4 times. And then, if you managed to yank it out, you'd better know how to deal with the alarm system connected to something as valuable as the ATMs. You have to be smart to know that ATMs are like a mini bank and therefore its security system works the same way to that of a full fledged bank.
Unlike the conventional snatch theft where it can be done in a blink of an eye, in principle, carting away ATMs is just like snatching handbags. The only difference is, the new trade requires a bit more efforts like you gotta figure where to get the truck with the hydraulic lifter. Unlike snatching handbags where all you need is a kapcai and a willing wing-man to do the job of snatching handbags from unsuspecting women, snatching ATMs is a serious business. The trade calls for sophisticated tools and you'd better know how to handle these tools. Or you may sub-con the job to hired hands to pry open the machine but that would mean compromising on the secrecy of your operation and what's stopping these hired hands from talking to their missus or girlfriends who may have brothers or sisters in the police force investigating the colorful characters who have given a whole new definition to the concept of snatch theft.
The ATMs snatch thieves, sooner of later , are going to pick up a few tricks from their failed mission. After all, we learn from mistakes. Maybe sooner or later, the police are going to make it mandatory for every truck with hydraulic lifter to be registered. In the meantime, you wanna watch out suspicious looking people working out like crazy in the gym lifting weights. They might be training to lift ATMS with bare hands now that it is such a bother to cart away one with a truck.
To these ATMs thieves the choice is pretty simple. Either a truck, or hernia. What's a little hernia compares to the big money in the ATMs.
It's a pretty confused world out there.


Blogger NURAINA A SAMAD said...

i think one fine day, a bunch of thieves would have perfected the art and skill of yanking out an ATM machine.

In a twisted way. i laud their sense of ambition and exaggerated sense of confidence.
I think they worked it all out in theory.

One fine day, Bergen. But I hope I wont be around their neighbourhood.
come to think of it, i have seen some suspicious-looking guys using the gym i go too. now i am worried.
hahaa. kidding.

8:43 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

Master Bergen:

A gift for you.

Forgive me if this is too long, it is the only way I know to show repect and awe to thoughts of a friend in this intangible plane.

Seeing Blind

I am new here,
I came from a land of the bewildered,
I have no friends nor lover.

Would you come closer to this tired traveler,
so that I can see you a little bit clearer,
please do not have no fear,
as I am a paralized blind from ear to ear,
a gift i got from me deeds in the coming years,
as a sentinel for devilish deers.

Now, now, do not be wary,
as a blind could never see,
there fore I could never pinch your little tootsy,
like what the demonic diety did to me,
so there is nothing for you to worry.

What is that you said in me hands you see?
that makes you head go weepity wee,
ahh, no, no, don't you go awry,
I'll tell you of the things I brought with me,
so you'll see a what a blind man sees.

A wand in my left and and a torch in me right hand,
is much appropriate for a blinded man,
one for shining the routes to thid land,
the other for telling an enemy from a friend.

A straight line crossed with a cresent on my neck,
a sign of me religous pack,
an order of sinning saints,
who seeks the pleasures of pain,
in hope one day I will again,
be a saintly sinner who preaches out pious blasmephemies,
making me an enemy pf the blasphemous piety.

As for this coarse velvet that I wore,
I know it is an eye spre,
but it is a precious gift from me lady whore,
who reminds me we are whoring ladies,
who love to be barbaric gentlemen,
and kill gentlemen barbaricly.

Worry not child,
as i am blind as a blind could be,
and all I know is the darkness that in it you be,
it is the light that helps me see.

9:03 PM  
Blogger zewt said...

"willing wing-man".... haha... sounds like highly trained ppl.

well, we all evolved... so do criminals...

11:14 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Nuraina A Samad: Yup, you wanna keep an eye on those guys working the weight. They've got something planne.

DIM: I'm not much of a guy who can understand poetry. I went over this poem several times but I can't figure what it's all about. Maybe you wanna explain what this is. I need help and I figure you're the best person to ask it from.

Zewt: Oh yea, Zewt. Those guys trained themselves crazy to be good at it. Those who got caught were unlucky, or they haven't acquired the art of snatching and escaping. You can take up this course starting with Snatching 101 but the whole thing is so clandestine I believe the class changes from one location to another the way weather does.

To everyone who dropped by, thank you so much. And you be sure to have a nice day now and please, don't plan on yanking an ATMs professionally. At least, until those enterprising guys have perfected the process. I know this is going to be a big industry in the future, with the promise of good life and easy pension, but you'd better stay cool for now.

Have a nice day, y'hear?

10:46 AM  

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