Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Malay Thing.

Copyrights for the title hasn't been officially obtained from the owner.
(Warning: Maybe be racist to some.)
There's nothing to be ashamed of if you are born Malay. It's not your fault. Neither it is your business if people keep saying you, a Malay, are as lazy as a guy can be. I've never bothered to take this kinda stuff seriously because I have achieved the highest level in being a Malay that nothing people say or do can inflict me any good, or bad.
First of all Malaysia is the country designed and built with the Malays in mind. This is the only country in the world where Malays can be as lazy as they want and as far as they are concerned, it is their business and if that is a problem to everyone else it is just too bad. The Malays are not lazy actually. They pretend to be so, to give the others the impression that they are a bunch of no-gooders who feed on government subsidies. Actually they are damned smart.
They let others work like mad. Tax them. Give them a hard time. And then use the proceed to finance Malay economic and social agenda. It's a brilliant plan. Executed with finesse that others can't even see the big picture. In the meantime, they continue to be masters and let others work to the bone, and just when they are doing all right, becoming rich and stuff like that, the Malay come in with a big stick in the form of the law that would enable them to milk maybe 30% of the wealth others have created. It's brilliant.
Only in Malaysia can a Malay do this. That's why you don't find lazy Malays in England, or New Zealand. Like the next guy, the Malays are as resourceful, hardworking, intelligent and creative when they are not in Malaysia. They know pretty well that they can't afford to live like a Malay in a foreign land because they know that those countries are not designed and built for the Malays. That's why I don't buy it when people keep saying Malays are lazy. I don't buy the concept that one race is created to be more hardworking and intelligent than the other. There's no such thing. Maybe nature vs nurture has something to do with, but it is not biological. No way.
And so this is the prelude of the entries under 'The Malay Thing'. Once I've got the copyright to write, that is. Otherwise this shall remain a plan, angan-angan. After all, I'm in Malaysia and being Malay, I can afford to be lazy...provided I can find others who can work this out for me and tax as much as 50% in the form of blogger gain tax. Malays are born with this gift. The gift to be masters in their own land and let others work their bones off and die miserable, disillusioned. The Malays have driven quite a lot of people out of this country this way. And they are not bothered. It's not their problem.


Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
Please do continue with your version of "The Malay Thing." You have my approval to use the title.
Happy Blogging!

3:06 PM  
Blogger The Ancient Mariner said...

But is Malay really a race or ethnic group or just a state of mind.

After all, you only have to marry one to become one these days.

4:13 PM  
Blogger D!Qgital Studio said...

the Malay are so damn good with "mercun buatan sendiri" and if they survived their early age (with all finger still attached)they will grow up to be another Dr.Azahari or Mat Top.

6:16 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Fauziah Ismail: No need to sign anything one arr? If like dat then order three mercs. Lemme make a couple of phone calls.

The Ancient Mariner: Actually the Malays are easy people to deal with. But a lot of times people take advantage of this and over time, the Malays became to be suspicious of everyone. And then they became rigid that they can't even laugh at themselves. To the Malays, they don't really care about this whole concept about Malay thing. And being sentimentally inclined, they are not bothered about defining the race from DNA stand point. It's too complicated and too scientific. They'd rather define it by what they can see. If you put on a business suit, and songkok and speak Malay, and Muslim, as far they are concerned you are Malay. Same thing if a woman puts on baju kurung, speaks Malay, and a Muslim, she's as Malay as the next girl. And if she behaves right, she might even get elected as UMNO office bearers. That's how easy they are with the whole thing.

D!Ggital Studio: Hey, thank you for coming this way. I like your Muay Thai blog. I missed the Kulim Muay Thai Competition. Was supposed to be there with a friend but he had to cancel it at the last minute. The one in KB where the competitor, a young guy died without regaining concsiousness was a sad story.

10:55 PM  
Blogger zewt said...

only a malay... like you... can say things like this. and i cant comment much.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Raden Galoh said... toss the coin and it rolls to give me the two sides head and tail...awesome bro..awesome...

how do ponder and think like that? sooo...sooo...thought provoking...hmmmm...

1:26 PM  
Anonymous iYem_Hu_iYem said...

Mister Bergen,

I have one Malay thing and one ‘not-so-Malay’ thing to post in here.

But first, the muqaddimah. I have made a pact with myself to get married, well re-married actually, before I turned forty. I’m a single mother of two, residing in the one of the northern states, holding a full time job that can pay all my debt and leaving enuff to spend reasonably till the month ends.

Okay, the following will be what I would refer to as a Malay thing. Being a single mother in this vicinity, it is like a curse that you have to carry for the rest of your life. Most men, I surely hope you’re not one of them, are really hypocrites when it comes to this issue. The moment they found out that you’re a divorcee, you can smell their ‘itch’ even when they’re miles away. Well, again I am stressing here, not all but most men. And again I am stressing here, I really hope that you’re not one of them. Although I enjoyed my single-again life, there is a price that I have to pay. I have to build a mobile concrete wall surrounding me. However, after eight years, I think it’s high time for me to start, I mean restart, my life without the concrete wall.

Now, ready for the ‘not-so-Malay’ thing bit? I have been looking and looking and have been keeping my options open all this while. It is a daunting task no doubt, having learned from the past what a disaster it could bring for not trusting my first instinct. I repeat, my first instinct, not just an instinct. Last Friday, on my way back to my hometown, I knew it is time for me to pop up the following question and my first instinct was that I should ask you, Mr. Bergen, the sacred question. This is really a ‘not-so-Malay’ thing coming from a woman, a Malay woman who is a single mother of two, but this time I am going to trust my first instinct. WILL YOU MARRY ME? :P

8:10 PM  
Blogger ms shah said...

malay, is, a state of mind.

8:42 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

Master Bergen:

I do agree on what you posted here, malay here are very much different when they are in places where they became the minority and have no what so ever pampering that they used to have.

And it is true that we are much more than what we seem, but then, as you have eloquently stated that it might be a product of nurture vs nature, we became like what other like to perceive us to be.

Syabas untuk pendapat yang cukup bernas.

(lucky me for being a demon – jahat pun orang tidak akan salahkan bangsanya, demon takde bangsa)

These two lame and unworthy poems I wrote not so long ago, and again I present it as a gift for you Master Bergen. If they hurt any feelings, apologies I seek in advance.


bertelekuk di balik tabir,
bergetar mendengar syair,
dendang lunak yang memaku mata bertitis air,
menjatuhkan si kaya menjadi fakir,
hanya kerna semangkuk nasi berlauk pasir,
dibiarkan terlondeh persalinan Amir,
hingga ternampak sang sulit hanyir.

bersilat berkeris makrifat,
makrifat tertanda ibu maksiat,
bagai kera hilang keringat,
dibiar diri dipikat pisang nan sesikat,
menjadi pak sanggup dengan tengkuk terjerat,
dibuat dari emas bertingkat.

dibiar telanjang bayang yang suci,
demi senyuman hamba menteri,
agar dikapan si kain sari,
moga hidup tatkala mati.


Stailo Said wal Seksi Seripah,
pemuda tampan dan pemudi indah,
asal dari Si Darah Merah,
yang dikukuh dengan debu Kaabah,
namun alah dek bayang Penafi Titah.

Hai Stailo Said wal Seksi Seripah,
mengapa dibiar kancing pantelon tercapah,
mengapa dibiar puting merah mengadah,
mengapa dibiar kangkang bapamu diludah,
mengapa dibiar pusat emakmu diredah,
mengapa dibiar ubun abangmu dipecah,
mengapa dibiar tundun kakakmu dicicah.
mengapa dibiar bibir adikmu dirancah?

Aduhai Stailo Said wal Seksi Seripah,
tidak mengapa jika rambutmu merah,
tidak peduli jika langkahmu bersepah,
jangan dibiar daulatmu jadi pariah.

9:49 PM  
Blogger abdullahjones said...


ps: bye bro. gonna miss your writings.

10:28 PM  
Anonymous sitilina said...

the word MALAY
MA - informal term for mother
LAY - pepare or position for action or operation

in other word, MALAY represents a nation that very caring (like a mther) that look after preparing for any action.

in bahasa, MALAY is called MELAYU. if it's called MENYEGAR or MENGGAGAH maybe something different we can see today.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Theta said...

Hehe. Well put!

Looking forward to the Malay Thing series....

5:15 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Zewt: How true, mate.

Raden Galoh: ...and I write...

Iyem_hu_Iyem: This is rather personal. My email is

Ms Shah: It's physical as it is biological. Maybe to a certain extent but it is a simple thing so I believe it is not a state-of-mind thing.

DIM: I'm still trying to figure...

Abdullah Jones: Where are you going, bro?

Sitilina: Never thought about it that way.

Theta: And so I write...

To everyone who dropped by this way, thank you for coming.

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was awesome mate...

You're right... Malays are damn smart.. they ride the backs of the chinese and Indians.. definately high achievers!

5:43 PM  
Anonymous jannah said...

my mom once said to me:

'malaysian brain is the most expensive in the world. no lie. cos it's never been used.'

and as much as i hate to be treacherous and cynical, i have to agree with her cos i've got one of those expensive brains too.

7:14 AM  

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