Thursday, July 05, 2007

We're Innocent.

One way to add a bit of excitement to an otherwise pretty straight forward life is to get to know a couple of friends who make an honest living driving an honest to goodness truck for hire delivering anything from furniture to construction materials.
So here I am riding a pick-up truck, sitting next to Yogeswaren listening to the stories he got coming for me and I figure if I want to get back to where I left my car, I had better listen to everything he has to say or he might leave me in the middle of Kesas Highway where everyone knows if you end up here you might as well end up somewhere in the middle of Isfahan, Inner Mongolia or Qum. He got the stereo turned up loud which makes listening to stories he got coming for me a hard work and it is truly hard work listening to him in between songs I don't understand a word of but I am not all that thick to guess that the songs are about happy people in love and how happy they are to be singing and dancing in the sun, not feeling the heat because when you are in love even the sun is nothing but a huge air-cond with a twin blower.
We are heading toward a middle-class neighborhood where the dogs bark at you non-stop for coming up so close to an electric gate but how else are you supposed to get this bulky sofa into the house if you don't park your truck close to the gate without arousing the dog obviously trained to bark at anything that moves. The dog is getting pretty loud and I ask Yogeswaren if it is okay for me to let go of the sofa so that it will land right on top of the dog. Yogeswaren says don't worry about it, can't you see the dog has been safely secured?
We move the sofa to face north, and then south, and then north, and then south again that in the end the lady who owns this huge sofa says, just put it at the corner there. I feel pretty thirsty in the throat that I feel like going to the kitchen to get me a tall glass of water from a huge fridge that I figure must have weigh at least a ton and can easily hold a ration for a rigging crew for a month. We leave the house to head to an address on the other side of the neighbourhood when a call comes in that gets Yogeswaren pretty excited. I can tell from the way he answers the phone that it is not the kinda call that can make you want to open up a can of soda to celebrate the good news. Yogeswaren says we've got to go pick up a few more things from a store and make the delivery before 6pm.
We are driving around a middle-class neighborhood trying to look for a house with the address Yogeswaren has written on a piece of paper the size of a matchbox. It's close to 9 pm and I figure I've had enough excitement for a day that I can't wait to get back to my straight-forward life, a shower and maybe a bit of TV before calling it a day. But Yogeswaren says we've got to find this house and I know too well that I had better go along with it or he might decide to leave me in the middle of this middle-class neighborhood with confusing street names and the numbering system that must have been worked out by a guy who failed his Maths big time.
We stop to ask for a direction from a guy but this guy starts to make a phone call on his cellphone and before we know it, a couple of guys on motorcycles with police light flock around us talking us down, asking us a lot of questions and demanding that we show some IDs. I say I don't have one on me and a guy with a flashlight starts to talk tough about how he can make things difficult for me if I don't do what he says and so I ask what do you want? Maybe it's a wrong question to ask since it could mean different thing to different people and so this guy with the flashlight says, do you want to get into trouble? I say, no I don't want to get into trouble, me and my friend Yogeswaren here are in the neighborhood to deliver this nice looking fridge to a house we have trouble finding and so if you folks can help us find this house we can leave the neighborhood quietly. By this time we must have created such a ruckus that it got the neighborhood excited that people are beginning to peek through the windows to find out what the commotion is all about. I am getting pretty excited inside too that it feels kinda right to smash the skull of this guy with the flashlight against the truck and see what his friends are made of, whether or not they've been in a fight before so as not to feel uneasy to see blood, broken teeth and eyes bulging black and blue like golf balls. Yogeswaren says, please lemme call my boss to get the telephone number of the the guy who has bought this fridge and if it isn't too much of a trouble the guy with the flashlight and his friends can escort us to the house until this fridge is delivered safely to its rightful owner. Obviously the guy with the flashlight won't have none of it because he believes we've stolen the fridge from a house in the neighborhood and are making our quick exit of the area in a getaway truck.
Yogeswaren must have faced a situation like this many times over that he seems to carry himself like a gentleman that he is that I got nothing but a lot of respect for the man. He gets us out of that situation, and a sorry from the guy with the flashlight and his friends, not to mention a police escort right up to the house of the guy who owns this fridge. He's a nice guy who offers us a drink so he can ask a question whether we got connections that can get two policemen on a motorcycle to escort the delivery of a fridge on a night hot like this.
Sometimes it's not a good idea to add a bit of excitement to an otherwise straight-forward life you're leading.

21 Comments:

Anonymous E said...

I have a straight forward life too. I leave the house to go to work at 8.30am and leave the office at 5.30pm to go home. That happens five days a week. The other two days are pretty straight forward too, but not involving going out to work at 8.30am or coming home at 5.30pm.

9:46 AM  
Blogger A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

tercungap saya membaca cerita ini.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous elviza said...

Mr. Bergen,

Thank you for the friday's entertainment. Otherwise, my straight forward life in this arghhh office at this god forsaken place can be DULL.

The wits and cynicism are jumping out of the page! I was laughing like a mad woman. He he he...

But NO, I will not try what you did!

2:56 PM  
Blogger boxxTomoi said...

ini cerita betul ke tuan?
But I can say that you are really a great storyteller. Tengaga saya membacanya

3:00 PM  
Blogger The Ancient Mariner said...

elviza is right. This is indeed hilarious and very tongue in cheek. Pls keep em coming.

4:51 PM  
Blogger NBB said...

kudos la yogeswaren

5:03 PM  
Blogger KetchupMissy said...

mr. bergen,

i had to tahan my kentut reading your post. takut termiss something... as a result, my bowel system is no longer straight-forward.

you trouble maker you!

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Ol Lady from the Green Mtn said...

Ah, drama follows you, doesn't it, Bergen? But then what would life be without some excitement?

Have a quiet, restful weekend ...

1:22 AM  
Blogger Nak Tak Nak said...

You should have smashed the guy's head with the torchlight just to break the monotony that is.

6:41 AM  
Anonymous adik said...

Bergen sir

This is one hilarious story.

I had a good time laughing all the way till the end of the story

You made my day.

Have a nice week end!

9:37 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

E: A straight-forward life but a stable one financially is good.

ABOVLB: Have some water, ma'am.

Elviza: I'm sure you lead an interesting life too. If only you see it more clearly.

Boxxtomoi: Name and place have been changed to protect the inviduals who are still alive.

TAM: Yes, sir. Next up is the misadventure on a whaling ship. LOL.

NBB: Kudos, machaa!!

KetchupMissy: For that you need a doctor specialising in that area of the body.

OLFTGM: Hey, good to have you back, ma'am. It's the killer heat in Oregon, Montana, Idaho and several cattle states there. How are you coping?

Nak Tak Nak: Sabor, sabor, cikgu. Here, have some teh ais.

Adik: Glad I made your day.

To everyone who came by this way either by mistake, or by choice, you people have a productive day ahead, y'hear? And thank you for coming. It's always a pleasure to have you here, mate!

11:44 AM  
Anonymous sitilina said...

my life is not always straightforward. now it's killing my by putting me at nowhere.

2:41 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

SitiLina: Life is like that. Sometimes straight sometimes bengkang bengkok one. Thanks for visiting and you take good care now that you're gonna be Mom.

3:13 PM  
Blogger NURAINA A SAMAD said...

hi bergen,

nothing in your life has been straightforward...that's for sure.

cheers, mate.

3:24 PM  
Blogger NURAINA A SAMAD said...

bergen,

and mean that in the most positive and polite way.

cheers again, bergen.

3:24 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Nuraina A Samad: I hear you, ma'am. Cheers!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Sayuti said...

sir,

although life may not be straight-forward sometimes, one thing we could be sure of - we'll end up being dead in the end anyway.

just dropping a comment once in a while. so sir, how's it been?

p/s: your sentences are getting long. huhu.

4:41 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Sayuti: Tuan, good to see you again. Are you are father now?

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Ol Lady from the Green Mtn said...

I've been globe-trotting, Bergen, in a world that seems to have gone mad. Yes, the heat has been incredible here in states which are traditionally cool. Thank goodness my mountain state is still its cool self and the cattle are content and the grass is still green.
I'll be off again soon but will look forward to returning to the green mountains in August.
Take care ... I stoped by for a laugh and got it!

10:51 PM  
Blogger AuntieYan @ Makcik Blogger said...

En.Bergen...You always have good stories to cheer my days...:-)
--------------

8:08 AM  
Anonymous elviza said...

Mr. Bergen Sir,

Of course life is interesting, outside the office that is!

Take care

1:03 PM  

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