WHATSAMMATER WITH YOU?

The chief and the town council guys of Kuala Kangsar talked about it in a meeting after meeting, and came to an agreement to build some kinda building so the good folks of Kuala Kangsar could come out of their houses to sell laksa and cendol under one roof very much like that of the Jolly Green Giant of Bangsar.

The plan worked. The good folks of Kuala Kangsar came out in good numbers, all armed with family recipe of the laksa that had made Kuala Kangsar a town it was and they were going to show the world what laksa could do to a man like you. Or a woman - whichever comes first.

You can go visit this place by the Sungai Kuala Kangsar to eat laksa and wash it down with cendol or ais kacang or whatever you feel like drinking but not the kinda drink cowboy like to drink when they ride into town to have a good time with women dressed oh-so-pretty like a doll not to mention a bit of feather on their hairdo.

These days I've made a life out of stopping over in Kuala Kangsar on the way North to see her. And it has become my habit to ride about town looking for something to eat other than Mamak food and by a stroke of my genius luck I found this Laksa and Cendol Complex by the Sungai Kangsar but the truth is three blind mice can find this place with no problem.

The laksa came pretty quick. But whatsammater with you? This young looking girl hardly fifteen brought me a plate of laksa with gravy and a bit of sliced cucumber and a bit of lettuce. I looked up the menu board and it said right there; Laksa Telur RM2.00 ++. Mine here was Laksa kosong for RM1.30. This was not right and so I called out the kakak who looked like she owned the stall to come over real quick because this laksa crisis had to be resolved right now or else I was going to call up the king himself to deal with this issue because this here is the king's town and he ought to know what's going going on.

The kakak explained good. Laksa kosong was the laksa I had ordered and it was just that - kosong. If I had wanted telur, I should have ordered that and she'd be happy to give it to me for extra 70 sen. I said this is not right. I said kakak, this is not the way you should do business.

Laksa - the world over, is a complete food. You've got laksa made of beras or whatever and you've got gravy. And the garnishing is standard and you shouldn't charge extra for it. Oh well you can charge extra 50 sen, plus the telur. But look at my laksa kosong, it has nothing. Not even sliced chili, onion, mint or anything. This is not the right way to do business, kakak.

But she wasn't listening.

Next week I am going to go to Kuala Kangsar to start laksa business and I am going to put all the garnishing under the sun and I'll charge RM1.70 per bowl. Buy three bowls I'll throw in two free cendol. Because the folks in Kuala Kangsar don't seem to get it that laksa and the garnishing is all part of the complete dish.

Whatsamatter with these people? They are going to bring down the name of Kuala Kangsar with laksa. Which is pretty sad because it was laksa that sort of raised Kuala Kangsar a notch above the Royal Town.

I'm not trying to say nothing, but really, you folks should learn a thing or two about business from the Makcik in Kedai Payang Kuala Terengganu, or the Makcik in Pasar Khadijah in Kota Bharu.

I am not easily irritated by food or bad service or expensive food. But I get mad when people start to mess up with traditional food by not presenting it correctly, or start to be smart for their own good. Next thing you know, Laksa Kosong without the gravy. If you want the rest, you'd better pay extra. The Laksa sellers of Kuala Kangsar have no respect for Laksa. This is not right.