Tuesday, November 06, 2007


It took me a while to find out what oxymoron really mean but frankly, I had figured what it's all about long before I looked up its meaning in a dictionary. No, I wasn't playing Scrabble on-line or one of those mind games learned people usually play. You know I don't have the brain for that kinda thing but it didn't take me long to put two and two together to know any better that oxymoron simply means: a snake in a dog's body. Or more precisely; a politician in a businessman's body. Or a businessman in a politician's body depending on how much money is involved.

As it is, I am an oxymoron in the making. If I decide to go into politics, that is. For now I am an oxy on account of my involvement in the world of business. I've chosen the first part of the word to fit my description because it sounds better than -moron. And if you bear with me, it means better too.

It's an open secret that politicians are generally morons. There's a whole bunch of them in the city right now having the supreme time of their life in a council that meets every now and then to discuss the fate of the Malays, where the Malays should be going, now that a Malay has gone to space and back. Every one knows that these spineless morons are as clueless as a goat with amnesia as to where everybody should be going. After all, they have misled the Malays for a good five decades and seven already.

Oxy is different than moron. An oxy doesn't necessarily refer to men or women engaged in some kind of business although this is generally the case. It may refer to a full-bodied ox, full of flesh and looking ohhh so oxy, or sexy in bovine street talk. It's a hundred times better than -moron, I tell you that. Unless otherwise stated oxy, however, isn't the same as oxlike.

How's that so, you may ask. I'm in the middle of cooking something so I am not about to explain this whole thing to you in a fashion that would make me come across as an academic who has read way too much for his own good. Besides, this is no time to be academic. Not when I'm listening to Boney M, ABBA and Tina Charles back to back. Of course it's different if I'm listening to people like Jethro Tull, Bob Dylan or Pink Floyd. But I don't. I like simple music with no message or concept. Music that doesn't try to change the world just because there's way too many wars, or corruption or that the world has had enough of oxymorons shouting themselves coarse in the throat that the Malays must change their ways if they ever want to get anywhere. Wherever that is.

Now, what was it that I started to write about? Sorry, my fish is cooking nicely in the aluminum wrapper, and I should start on the citrus sauce. And you know that a sauce like that needs constant stirring. Excuse me, I gotta fix dinner for one. Wish you could join me but would you have dinner with an oxy? If you don't mind Boney M, that is.


Blogger Kata Tak Nak said...

A bitter sweet comment on the on-going circus.

11:16 AM  
Blogger tokasid said...

Salam Bergen:

Ah...I see that channel 731 comedies had rubbed something on you.
Seriously, this is hillariously hillarious a description of the on-going circus in Pala Wak Tarak Centre(PWTC).

And I can hear the song Ma Baker in the background and Don't Cry For Me Argentina in the forground.

12:18 PM  
Blogger cakapaje said...

Salam Bergen,

Reading Cikgu and Doc, I go like "huh...?". Then it dawned on me, they're talking about jackasses! lol

Bro, I would delightfully accept your kind offer any day of the year. Except for during Ramadhan, that is. Reading you cook, is a far better vocation than yawning in front of the idiot box. Like Cikgu and Doc said, they are a circus. But unfortunately, without the clowns.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Zabs said...

Salam Bergen,
From your description of the oxymorons, I would suggest that you remain as an oxy.

2:35 PM  
Blogger dee3 said...

i am replying to: "Wish you could join me but would you have dinner with an oxy?"

and i'd say yes!

oxy doesnt matter, especially with the statement [quote]It may refer to a full-bodied ox, full of flesh and looking ohhh so oxy, or sexy in bovine street talk [unquote].

you are always good with your words, dear sir!

3:21 PM  
Blogger Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Bergen
I grew up thinking of them being those who lack oxygen to the brain.
It might just still be true!

8:04 PM  
Blogger cakapaje said...

Ok bro,

I have just admitted to being an oxymoron myself! lol :)

12:24 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Kata Tak Nak: This year's a pretty quiet affair. Adalah a couple yang trying to be all heated-up and excited. Looks like they have to toe the line not to offend non-Malays again like they did last year.

Tokasid: LOL, yes, British comedies have started to get to me a little. Used to hate them because I couldn't understand what they are saying, or failed to see the humor, unlike American sitcom which is pretty straight forward. I guess one needs to be a bit more educated to appreciate British humor. As it is, this is the highest level I will ever get to being educated so my appreciation of British humor is rather limited.

Cakapaje: Send me something in my email so I can put you up on my dinner list.

Zabs: I think so too. LOL.

Dee3: Thank you, ma'am.

Fauziah Ismail: Fill up the brain with money money money and you lose the space reserved for oxygen.

Cakapaje: LOL, are you really now?

12:31 PM  
Blogger cakapaje said...

Bro, I take it that's a genuine offer, and thank you for it. But for now, I have to take a raincheck, at least until the Perhimpunan Rakyat is over. And, if I'm not nabbed by the SB's, insyAllah, I would love to come over.

Er...so long I'm not on the menu! :)

1:48 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Cakapaje: You stay sharp at the rally tomorrow, bro. The police has started to issue stern warnings. I reckon they gotta do what they gotta do. Things are gonna get rough and it's gonna get ugly. No, I ain't coming to the rally.

You stay sharp, bro.

11:11 AM  

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