Thursday, April 24, 2008

Anita Is Laughing Like A Fish Out Of The Water.

Two weeks out. Nothing happened. Maybe Anita doesn't have a brother who has something to say to me about something that has been bothering him that he gotta find the time to come see a form one guy who has been disturbing his sister who is not all that pretty on account I've seen the most pretty girl in the world and there's no way I can love another. I imagine Anita's brother is a big burly guy, maybe a form 5 dude, or someone who has a job with Penang Municipality writing parking tickets because most Penang Malays aspire to have this job in the 70s as this makes them feel important walking around under the hot sun putting on a cloth hat supplied by the Municipality, writing parking tickets with a BIC ball-point pen, supplied also by the Municipality. By the third week I figure Anita's brother isn't coming and so Yusof and I don't talk about it because we've got other things to talk about now that we are free to do our own thing during Agama period. Our form teacher Mr Fong says the five of us Malay boys in Form 1E is too small for the Ustaz to come teach us as a class. Which is fine by us because Agama is the last period of school and so we prefer to have the free period to ourselves and we hope and pray to heavens that things will continue this way for the rest of the year. But the heavens are not listening because a boy from Form 1A knocks on the door of our class one fine evening to say the five us have to join Form 1A for Agama. Yusof says this can't be happening and so I say; let's just walk out of school but Mr Fong says you two had better not run away or I'll let Mr Thomas Khor to deal with you. This Thomas Khor of a guy is a discipline teacher who has caned me quite a bit and so I say out of respect, let's just go attend this Agama class one time and see how it goes. And so we pack our things and take two flights of stairs to go up to Form 1A classroom.

We walk in to look for a seat but the Ustaz says; awat hampa kughang ajaq sangat tak tau nak bagi salam? That got the whole class laughing at us as if we are a bunch of converts who don't know any better how to greet a class of fellow Muslims properly. Yusof is the first to say; Assalmekom. That got the class to laugh even louder. I say that too but the Ustaz can't hear it and so he says; so you're the big-headed Trengganu boy who just came but already a famous name. That doesn't make the class to laugh which is fine by me. I share a chair with Yusof at a desk by the window. Everyone has got the book open ready to a page they're gonna read from. I don't have the book. Yusof doesn't have one either. The other three friends from Form 1E, Izhar, Kamaruzzaman and Anuar don't have it too. I got the strange feeling that the Ustaz doesn't like the five of us to be here in his class but I like it just fine because I'm now in the same class as Anita. She sits behind Faizah on the other end of the row by the window. Out of the blue Yusof kicks my leg and I kick his which got us giggling in a game I kinda like very much but this doesn't last very long because obviously Ustaz finds out about it soon enough to come barging at us to grab the collar of our shirt so he can yank us off our seat, holding us each on both hands as if we're some kinda of cats from an alley. He got us to stand facing the class by a corner next to the blackboard. He continues teaching class, looking at us every now and then as if he cares to ask whether we need anything to drink or to eat while we're at it. Anita isn't looking at me. She got her head in the page of the book. I'm not looking at Kamal. I know he doesn't feel too good now that I'm looking at Anita hoping to catch her eyes to grimace a funny face which is a dangerous thing to do because everyone is watching me while they pretend to read from the page of the book. But as long as Ustaz does his thing teaching class facing the students I reckon I'm pretty safe. And so I do another face, crossed-eye that came out perfect as a crossed-eye can be. That got Yusof to laugh kik...kik...kik like a kitten and that got me to laugh like a diesel engine starting up kek...kek...kek.
Some of the boys in the class find this funny. Kamal is pretty set on not laughing to show he's such a fine gentleman with fine manners. Anita and Faizah laugh, shaking their shoulders like fish out of the water gasping for some air. Ustaz turns around to see what's the ruckus going on behind his back but I look up the ceiling in time but not fast enough for Ustaz to know any better what's going on. And so I say; Ustaz dia kacau saya. That got Yusof pretty pissed and so he grabs my shirt but I turn sideways to grab his arms. Ustaz says; the two of you are going to see Mr Thomas Khor now!
We're walking to go see Mr Thomas Khor in the teachers' room which is not the kinda thing you wanna do when school is gonna be out in less than 10 minutes. One more time heavens isn't listening because of all the person in the whole of Jelutong, Gelugor and Brown Garden sent down to escort us to see Mr Thomas Khor is a skinny guy with a lot of hair called Kamal.


Blogger tokasid said...

Salam Bergen: are able to watch Anita directly for almost a period!And Kamal was eating his hearts out knowing you are looking at his buah hati for that long.

I remember friends punished to stand at the front of class then started making faces fr us sitting to smile or laugh( actually trying to stop laughing) and giggling.And when the teacher finds out, a few more will be invited to accompany the funny chap infront.

When I was in form 2 I was nce asked to stand on the chair but not in the classroom. the corridor. And the evening supervisory teacher will come alng and ask : Why your teacher ask you to stand her at the corridor?
Me: I make noise just now,Sir.
Supervisor: Oh...youi make noise eh? Now take your chair and go stand at the field!

You wrote:And so I say; Ustaz dia kacau saya.

Hahaha...thats normally the first response by lower secondary school guys when caught with their pants down.
More please.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Kata Tak Nak said...

SMK Jelutong is quite a problematic school even now and you've got to have a cane wielder if you want some semblance of discipline in this kind of school.
When I was the SA of Sek Men Keb Datuk Hj Mohd Nor Ahmad, or you might know it as Gelugor Secondary School or SM Gelugor, I had a few man teachers who carry the cane and we used them effectively enough without getting ourselves into serious problems with the parents that we managed to turn the school around a bit, discipline wise.
I know many parents would disagree but I say, spare the rod, spoil the child.

3:49 PM  
Blogger dee3 said...

i like the last sentence. :D
thank you!

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Dhahran Sea said...

Salam Sir Bergen. Can't wait to read the juicy part after seeing Mr Khor...

9:19 PM  
Blogger Mat Salo said...


Been catching up on the reading, and hey, just love the way you write bro.

Just curious, you still keep in touch with any of these characters?

2:20 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Tokasid: LOL, try do something like that to a pupil these days and you may end up in court. LOL. Cikgu should know better.

Cikgu: So it's THAT famous eh? Jelutong Secondary School (JSS - in the 70s) was notorious with gangs. Fights were common. Thomas Khor had a handful to deal with these kids. But he's got help - those days the number of men teacher outnumbered women teachers. I remember two women teacher - Miss Ong a math teacher, she's a Lydia type of girl. The other, she's a Miss Low Bee Lia of my Remove Class in Dungun but not as pretty. She taugh me Tom Brown School Days, and David Copperfield.

Dee3: I read somewhere 'We'd be in bigger trouble if all our prayers are answered.' He he.

Dharan: LOL, public caning, private caning, class caning - how I remember them all. LOL.

Mat Salo: No, I don't. Yusof and Siva met a violent end in Sungai Petani.

4:00 PM  
Blogger zackzara said...

*zara was here*

*i like this entry*

*i like other entries as well*

*i dont know why i have to put the asterix but i like it anyway*


10:35 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home