I Listen To The Radio.

They are playing love songs on the radio to get into the Valentine's mood and I'm on the couch eating Belgian chocolate and a few bars of Swiss chocolates and the good old American Hershey bars and I'm pretty worried that if I keep this binge going this way my weight will balloon up in no time turning me into a super duper fat dude all so lonely without someone to love on such a beautiful night as this when the wind is blowing so softly that the curtains are swaying as if inviting me to do a bit of Waltz, Foxtrots or Mambo No. 5 and such, but you can ask anyone that a guy like me won't dance with a curtain unless I want the neighbors to think I have gone insane in the head to swirl about like a dervish with a piece of cloth about a few metres long. I'm thinking about someone as pretty as Maya Karin on a night when lovers are spending good money on roses and chocolate but all I see is a picture of Maya Karin in a shampoo advertisement that it is making me all inadequate because everyone knows I go around bald as a baby's butt. This way I save a bit of money on shampoo and save even more on haircut that I don't have to pay good money to a barber from Kerala who is fond of twisting your neck that you worry a little if he's gonna snap it the way you break the neck of a fried fish.

One-hit-wonder, all-time-favorite and super hit, played back to back to set your romantic mood into over-drive, sending your mind to flash all the girls you've ever loved in your life and how they meant something to you that you were willing to give away your ears and your legs if only they could love you back but they ain't gonna do that for you because they needed to marry someone more responsible and more fatherly instead of a maverick like you who spend all the money on good time.

Belgian chocolates are good.

Hershey bars are good too.

Lindt chocolate is good.

Tobblerone is good.

I ain't got no roses but I've got enough chocolates to last me the whole night long.

Will you be my Valentine?