Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I Listen To The Radio.

They are playing love songs on the radio to get into the Valentine's mood and I'm on the couch eating Belgian chocolate and a few bars of Swiss chocolates and the good old American Hershey bars and I'm pretty worried that if I keep this binge going this way my weight will balloon up in no time turning me into a super duper fat dude all so lonely without someone to love on such a beautiful night as this when the wind is blowing so softly that the curtains are swaying as if inviting me to do a bit of Waltz, Foxtrots or Mambo No. 5 and such, but you can ask anyone that a guy like me won't dance with a curtain unless I want the neighbors to think I have gone insane in the head to swirl about like a dervish with a piece of cloth about a few metres long. I'm thinking about someone as pretty as Maya Karin on a night when lovers are spending good money on roses and chocolate but all I see is a picture of Maya Karin in a shampoo advertisement that it is making me all inadequate because everyone knows I go around bald as a baby's butt. This way I save a bit of money on shampoo and save even more on haircut that I don't have to pay good money to a barber from Kerala who is fond of twisting your neck that you worry a little if he's gonna snap it the way you break the neck of a fried fish.
One-hit-wonder, all-time-favorite and super hit, played back to back to set your romantic mood into over-drive, sending your mind to flash all the girls you've ever loved in your life and how they meant something to you that you were willing to give away your ears and your legs if only they could love you back but they ain't gonna do that for you because they needed to marry someone more responsible and more fatherly instead of a maverick like you who spend all the money on good time.
Belgian chocolates are good.
Hershey bars are good too.
Lindt chocolate is good.
Tobblerone is good.
I ain't got no roses but I've got enough chocolates to last me the whole night long.
Will you be my Valentine?

12 Comments:

Blogger A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

dont worry, chocolates won't fatten you.

4:52 PM  
Blogger k.d said...

I wanna..I wanna..the Belgian chocolate...Ooohhh...THEY ARE SOOOOO GOOOOOOD..

How can I cheer you up Mr.Bergen?

9:40 PM  
Blogger podgykat said...

Spoilt for choice there Bergen! And you're sitting all alone on your couch going thru all that! Which gal in her right mind won't want belgian chocolate, love their dark. Lindt,yumm,especially those truffles! Hershey's,their kisses are wow, and so are their dark bars...Everything goes with tobblerone! Ahhhh! Happy Valentine's, Bergen.

10:56 PM  
Blogger nadya said...

bergen sir,
can i have some of your choc please?

11:26 PM  
Blogger Clark Gable of Pulau Duyong said...

Dear Bergen,
Do you know Maya Karin? Been looking around for her for my next film ......Chocolates sounded good but it normally work with the opposite sex...me? Petai would do on Valentine day.
One day i shall produce chocolate coated petai!!

8:40 AM  
Anonymous mama irma said...

Bergen,
Gosh, I nearly fainted for being out of breath reading your first sentence!
Nope, veterans like me will suffer severe migraine if we take chocolates, no wonder we don't celebrate Valentine's day no more....

9:54 AM  
Blogger tokasid said...

Valentine's day. had not celebrated it for many years.
Used to celebrate during campus years.Bought roses esp from Pusat Kusta in Sg Buloh when friends did their Leprosy posting there.

Chocolate for me doesn't go with Valentine's Day. Chocolate is to be enjoyed everyday, but unfortunately consuming it will make my Glucometer have high reading.

11:17 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Where's my chocolate?

1:22 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

ABOVLB: I needed to hear this. Thank you, ma'am.

K.D: I am cheered, ma'am. In fact I am so cheered you can email me your address here: bergen1605@yahoo.com and I will email you the address where you can view my photos.

Podgykat: You have a good Valentine's day, ma'am. You know your chocolates, eh? LOL.

Nadya: Wait, lemme go check if I still got some, LOL.

CGOPL: Sounds like an interesting herbal product, sir. LOL. You gotta go figure how to market that. Maybe position it as an aprodisiac or something than can boost mental capacity to help the government to go figure how best to firm up the delivery system.

Mama Irma: Yup, I'm back to writing long sentences. LOL. It's gonna get longer.

Tokasid: You are a doctor, right?


AuntyN: You want me to FedEx it to Penang? LOL.

To everyone who dropped by this way, thank you very much, folks. Come around again. And it is always good to have you here, mate!

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is the first paragraph-first sentence the longest ever yet? Hahahah..next challenge perhaps a whole long paragraph with only one fullstop? Choc-bingeing for any reasons? -rad-

8:07 PM  
Blogger Jannah said...

I was a bit late reading your blog. Had I known I'd gladly be your Valentine. Fat and bald all.

Love the looooooong sentence attempt. The most I could do is 50 words in one sentence.

Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Nibbles. Nibbles. Nibbles.

Happy Belated Valentine Day!

1:40 AM  
Blogger Ibu said...

CHOCOLATE???!!! I WANT !! I WANT !! Can I have some, without err... being your valentine? hehe... okay what? fren, fren, share chocolate.

11:35 PM  

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