Part II - Blogs By Women In Their 40s (Or 30s)

Breakfast doesn't appear by magic, everything neatly arranged by leprechaun slipping through the window in the night to set up the table, to half-boil your eggs the way you like it. To brown your toasts to perfection and line them up in military precision on the toast rack. To cream and sugar your coffee the way you like it making sure that it is neither too hot nor too cold. Butter knife and jam knife set facing north, or south to coincide with your mood, and the folded napkin in the shape of a swan to match the color of your tie, or your handkerchief.

Maybe you have never worked in a professional kitchen in your entire life but this, my friend, is not an excuse to remain ignorant to the fact that breakfast is perhaps, one of the most tedious processes that one has no choice but to do it day in, day out, year in, year out. It's a simple but boring job but someone has got to do it to keep a family up and about since everyone knows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And who do you think is the most qualified person to do this job other than women in their 40s? Oh sure, you and the kids would wake up early on Mother's Day to prepare breakfast for her but that, my friend, is only a day of the 365 days in a year. Try doing it for the rest of 364 days and see whether you can still have that smile on your face while flipping a hash brown or a sausage. Between you and the stars above, you might want to suggest that the world should stop celebrating Mother's Day.

And she does breakfast without as much as a complaint in her smile. I've gotta hand it over to the women in their 40s that you, ma'am, have my utmost respect. Salute! Too bad I'm not married to you, otherwise I'd make love to you every time you make me breakfast.

It doesn't take a genius to guess that the person who gets up first in the morning is responsible to make sure that every one's belly is filled with honest-to-goodness, home-cooked, hearty breakfast. And who gets up first in the morning other than the woman in her 40s? (Presumably you don't have a maid that age, of course). Unlike her mother, the woman in her 40s doesn't have to boil water since every middle-class family comes fully equipped with the ubiquitous thermal pot, sandwich maker, bread maker, juice maker and other kitchen gadgets designed with her in mind by men in white lab coats. These items are meant to make the job of preparing breakfast more efficient for all the women in her 40s because every one's in a rush in the morning. You've got a meeting to run to, or an important person to meet, maybe a sales executive in a short skirt and a sleeveless top. The kids have gotta be in school on time. Either you rush things through or get caught in a jam for a good half an hour. She's all over the kitchen, giving orders to the kids, reminding them about a homework or a water bottle with the cap gone frayed, or a shoe lace that went missing in the night. She reminds you about a couple of bills still unpaid but you are too busy to listen, glancing through the sports section of the morning paper.

No, my friend. Breakfast doesn't just happen by magic. It takes planning the night before, the night she finally comes to bed from the kitchen long after everyone in the house is half way dreaming about kings and queens, dragons and castles. And you wonder what on earth she does all day to forget about small things like ironing your shirt or keep the house spic and span. And you say to yourself, women in the 40s are so lazy that they've got nothing better to do other than write blogs.

I didn't say it. You did. I just put the dialogue bubbles and the rest is up to you.

Sorry, Amy, I don't have the experience in flood water rescue. Maybe some aspects of the rescue are the same in terms of equipment and procedures but I don't think I can join the team. Good luck and stay safe, folks.

To be continued...

(668 words.)