Wednesday, February 21, 2007

How To Fix A Broken Heart.

My heart needs no fixing since I make sure it doesn't break in the first place come what may. You can do it too. It's pretty easy once you've learnt how to numb your heart against what people may do, or say to you that might get you all sensitive and feeling all soft on the inside that you start to feel as if all the air in the world isn't enough for you to breath proper. In some extreme cases this has been known to well up tears in your eyes making them all watery and salty that they start to go red as a traffic light to scare the deads in their peaceful slumber. Maybe you know better of a term for this physiological condition if you have gone to a university to study something like psychology, biology or something like that. Of course you've gotta be a smart person to go to the university in the first place to pursue a degree reserved only for those with extra brain to do all those hard thinking about cells and more cells and how each cell is connected to a neuron that can spark great ideas to invent bigger weapons that can annihilate every living thing on the planet. But this entry isn't about the brain. It's about the heart that can quit on you all of a sudden. When it comes to the affairs of the heart there's no place like Institut Jantung Negara where you can meet long lost friends all at the same time without having to call up their secretary to make an appointment so you can write in your notebook or a PDA or scribble something in the palm of your hand the time and place to meet up.
A friend got his heart all messed up inside that he needed to undergo some kind of surgery to remove the blockage so it can start to work proper again. I've been to a lot of hospitals whenever there's a body to claim from the morgue, mostly friends who had died in a petroleum fire, or the bodies of people I didn't know who had gotten all burnt and mangled from the wreckage of an equipment failure on an offshore platform. But I have never been to a hospital like this one where the person I gotta see is still breathing and eating a hearty meal that very nearly got me to forget about common courtesy to ask if he could leave some food for me since the last time I ate was a few hours ago and that was only four pieces of tosay with dhal, fish curry, coconut chutney and a bit of sambal. I reckon this IJN thing is a good place to get sick going by the food they serve; nice clear tofu soup, vegetable, fish, a bit of jelly for dessert and a good portion of nice fluffy first quality rice. The nurses are pretty too, going about their business carrying a clipboard saying Assalamu'alaikum to everyone that I was beginning to feel special.
There were a few friends I had not seen for a long time but we only exchanged a brief hello since this being a hospital I didn't think it was proper for us to start talking about old times because this kind of talk usually finish off with a laugh so loud that could stop a broken heart connected to some kind of machine and I don't think I know how to fix that one if it went off. A heart like that requires a guy in a white coat to fix it good again so it can pump proper again.
I left the place pretty late to stay with my friend when the rest were gone on their separate ways. He looked pretty pale and weak that I got a feeling that would be the last time I was ever going to see him alive. We gotta go when the time comes. And when it comes, there's nothing we can do about it. It could be the heart that can snap on you, or a car accident, or a plane going down before bursting into a ball of flame.
I wonder what would it be like for me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

the nurses there are pretty? may be you havent see the docs yet. they are more prettier. hehe

4:25 PM  
Blogger NURAINA A SAMAD said...

hi bergen,

when i was young, several people I loved died -- my (paternal) grandma, three aunts, an uncle and my beloved granddad. Later, a cousin, another aunt and an uncle.
I never saw them dying. They were in Singapore. But,I was very sad.
The death of a family member that hit me really really bad the first time was that of my mom in 1990.
You know how you'd always think that you'd grow old with your mom, that she'd stay with you for awhile and then she'd have to really spread herself thin staying with her other children, and how your kids would grow up seeing her growing really old,and they'd spend time with her....
That was never meant to be for me. She was only 64 when she died.
I saw her bent over a pillow in pain in her hospital bed because of her water-clogged lungs and then unconscious for some hours, with that tube thru her mouth before she succcumbed. Rather, her heart just stopped. Every moment before that, we just wanted her to open her eyes.
I must have been in grief for months.
And then in 1994, my eldest sister died of cancer.
Today, we are praying for strength, patience and endurance, in face of another sister's pain --she has cancer too.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Clark Gable of Pulau Duyong said...

Dear Bergen,
Death was never easy except the road with the dead end and the clock that went dead on you.

The worst death for lovers is when the heart you desire decided to be dead as far as you are concern.

The unimaginable death for a warrior is when he is dying in his bed instead of battlefield like what lamented by Syaidina Khalid AlWalid on his deathbed.(whose body has no single space devoid of battle scar)

But there is one death that would make all of us walk like a living deads....death of freedom!!

Long Live Bergen ..cheer up brother!!

6:35 PM  
Blogger anggerik merah said...

waz here to read...:-)

9:33 PM  
Anonymous Ol Lady from the Green Mtn said...

Death comes to us all. I think it is far more important how we've lived our lives rather than when we die.

I hope for all the best for your friend, Bergen. I suspect that he has many good years left.

2:01 AM  
Blogger NJ said...

Salam Bro Bergen,

Your entries have always been tickling me, this however leaves me with a heavy heart. Thank you for reminding us about how precious life is and how we should be thankful to Him for blessing us with good health.

You are such a colorful personality Sir, and I like to learn more about you. Thus, I am actually tagging you for something. Please do visit my blog one of these days when you are a bit free, it will be an honor if you could do the 6 weird things.

Thanks in advance.

7:11 PM  
Blogger X-Matters said...

Dear Bergen
Someone told me the the first will always be the hardest to accept especially if it is someone in the family. But he was wrong. Each and every one is difficult, whether it is a family member or a friend.
My father died in 1986. My ex-housemate died of a heart attack last year. Another succumbed to an asthma attack two days ago.
It hurts to lose people you love and know so well.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Ibu said...

mr berg, reading your long sentences always leave me in chuckles. such good laughs are good for my heart. thanks! hope your friend will get well soon.

p/s I'd prefer not to wonder much how mine would be, rather 'psycho' the mind to commit to prepare for what is to come thereafter. amin, insyaAllah...

11:50 PM  
Blogger tokasid said...

Salam to Bergen and all.

Broken heart.There are 2 meaning to it. First is the failure of the heart due to its weakness(for what ever reason) anatomically ,physiologically or pathologically. IJN is the place to go for help. The second broken heart is emotionally and psychologicaly esp when someone dear to you left you.
Sometimes the second broken heart occurred when that someone left you because he or she had the first broken heart.You need a psychiatrist for this second broken heart.( some had to go to Tg Rambutan or Tampoi).
Death is sunnatullah.You can't run or hide from it.When our time to 'punch out'comes nothing can stop it. Not even the best doctor.

I think its important for us to prepare for whats gonna to happen to us after death.

1:43 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Dr Nurul: A pretty doctor makes for fast recovery. Which is not an entirely a good thing because you only got to see the doctor for a short while, and therefore, for a private hospital, that is, bad for business. LOL.

Nuraina A Samad: I reckon we'll never get used to losing people we love. And it is the same for others when it's our time to go.

CGOPD: With freedom I believe you can always organize a revolution or something to revive it, if it is dead. But with real death all you've got is a one way ticket and you know you ain't coming back. LOL, 'long live, bergen'? You made it sound as if I am a king or something. LOL.

Anggerik Merah: Welcome home, ma'am. Is this still the country you used to know?

OLFTGM: Yes, ma'am, I hope he's got a few more good years to go before going down.

NJ: Thank you for visiting, ma'am. And about this tag thing, lemme go figure the weird things about me worth writing about. LOL.

X-Matters: People are dying young these days as if it's a fashionable thing to do. And a lot of women are dying of cancer. I believe ours is the generation prone to dying young.

Ibu: Glad you my long sentences can make you chuckle. How have you been, ma'am?

Tokasid: You've got it right there about the difference in broken heart. You know me, I can't tell the difference. LOL.

12:16 PM  

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