Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I Got Blogged.

Gotta have me a strong cup of coffee to go figure how I got blogged on The Datin Diaries, and how it made me want to start my own blog and how I learnt hard how to write that after a year I finally got the courage to start Bergen Test hoping that no one will laugh at the way I construct my sentences and yes how my sentences can go on and on about a couple of miles without a comma to give middle age readers just enough space for a pause to catch their breath before coming to a full stop.
It took me a year to decide on what to write since I figured there was nothing interesting about my life worth reading and I didn't want to be arrested for keeping people bored to death with entries about a wild night out on a town with the guys, spending all the money on wine women and songs since this wasn't the kind a stuff people my age with a nice family living in the middle class neighbourhood would want to read. In the end I decided to write about the truth, the things I do. Afterall it is my blog and I deserve the right to tell the truth being very careful not to sound arrogant because there is no reason to be arrogant about the things I do since I do what I do and I don't bother no one and I don't owe anyone any money and I am not all that easy to be friend with unless we've gone through the bitter tests one after another.
And so I wrote about John Guling.
And Australian Women's Weekly.
And How To Be A Caregiver.
And things to write about just kept coming and I kept writing, sometimes three entries a day. In most cases I got the entries all lined up on stand-by to be published back to back. It was interesting. All of a sudden I found an outlet to express myself, writing, and telling in my own fashion an event that happened long time ago. And I took up sketching, again. Unfortunately sketching reminded me of my childhood. In restropect it wasn't a bad thing since sketching took me back and forth, journeying through my childhood, my senses fully alert to the vivid details, color, smell, sound and even the pain, and laughter. Names of people long ago forgotten came back. I saw them in my sleep. I saw them when I closed my eyes.
Writing can do wonders to unearth the memories. And if I found myself unable to write a sentence, I'd pick up my sketchbook to draw an object such as a pair of shoes, or a broken toy, a relic from the past, or the future so that I can understand what I am going through today.
I made friends. Fellow bloggers. I even met some of them in real life, something I never thought I'd do. And how glad I was to make that decision to meet them. They are nice people with a big heart. They made me feel good, good to have real people to connect with.
And then I wrote about Catherine.
And that made me lonely.
So lonely that I made Tesco almost my second home.
And then I met her.
And then we exchanged sms and called each other on the phone.
I thought I was in love.
Because I thought she was too.
But I was wrong.
But that's life.
You are not supposed to get what you want.
Life is about living with what you don't have.
And move on.
And write blogs.
And sketch.


Blogger Anak Mami said...

My teacher once told me..

"if you love somebody, set her free.. if she comes back to you, then she's yours.. but if she doesn't, then she was never meant to be..."

Someone will be yours Sir Berg, dah termaktub di Loh Mahfuz yang semua orang berpasangan...

9:49 PM  
Blogger JoKontan said...

" I construct my sentences and yes how my sentences can go on and on about a couple of miles without a comma to give middle age readers just enough space for a pause to catch their breath before coming to a full stop.."

I remembered well during those earlier times, when I did get irked with these. (No problem there bro).But I kept coming back for more. And now, (honestly) I get a bit addicted.

Long sentences is breathing Bergen. Long sentences is You.

9:24 AM  
Anonymous married with children said...

Cheer up!

10:20 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Anak Mami: Thank you for visiting, ma'am.

Jokontan: I get by with a little support from a friend like you, mate. Thank you.

MWC: Thank you, ma'am. Cheers!

2:26 PM  
Blogger tokasid said...

I agree with you that initially its hard to write.But like you said, just write what comes from your heart and mind. Never mind the long sentences or 'wrong' English/or bahasa that we use. After all its our own blog and we write what we want. It doesn't matter is others will read our entry. Its actually kind of therapeutic to blog. Eases off a lot of pressure from one's shoulder.

And you paint!...wow thats fantastic

10:32 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Tokasid: I've always wanted to write but never got around to actually do it until I discovered this blog thing. For almost a year I visited a lot of blogs, reading and learning everything I could along the way. And then I discovered Sir Awang Goneng, Pokku, Kak Teh, Datin Diaries and a few others to get a direction of what good writing is all about. It also encouraged to take up reading.

And then I bought meself a PC. It wasn't easy to convince myself to do it being a Mac user all my life, but I think it has been a good choice since PC is more blog friendly. It was also a time in my life when I quit my job to figure what to do next and so I had a lot of free time to blog, and meet up with bloggers in real life.

I'm not sure where this is going but for a time being, I am not thinking about it.

I found you out from Kak Teh and AuntyN. Feels like I've known you for a long time even though we've never met. Here's to friendship, sir. Cheers!

1:21 PM  
Blogger nadya said...

:) you'll be fine.

abah & i should take u out for tehtarik session lah..

4:43 PM  

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