Saturday, March 25, 2006

This Is No Way To Live.

It's gonna get worse on Monday. This loneliness. When everyone gets into a car to go work in a downtown office. There'll be a long line of cars on the ramp going towards the city. All I can do is watch from the balcony thinking what a nice life it would be to have something important to do first thing Monday morning. People to meet. A meeting to attend. A phone call to make. Monday is not my kinda day. It's the day that reminds me that I am totally disconnected with the rest of the world, not participating in any way in the economic scheme of things that make this nation a great country. Used to feel important working on a rig on a night shift when the rain beat down your back like sleet of needles, the waves roaring as if ready to swallow you up if you are not careful with your steps. It felt good. The responsibilities. And the kinda work I did. It felt good to work real hard to bring up the crude oil so someone onshore can process it, sell it to bring in money for the country. It felt good to contribute something for the good life of the people who will never know what is it that you gotta do to get to the crude oil. Or how dangerous it is to work on a rig. Or what kinda men who can do this year in year out, every rotation is like a trip to Disneyland. Every helicopter pick-up is like a joyride on a stolen trishaw downhill.

Right now, I feel like signing up to go work in the North Sea where the danger is. I don't have anything to look forward to. I don't want to see another Monday. All I want is to do what I used to do. Pack a duffel bag to head for the airport to get on a plane on a one way trip to some place like New Zealand where I can live in a house with a nice kitchen with someone. Someone who means something. Someone who stole my heart and never gave it back. Someone I used to quarrel with over every little thing. Someone I used to take a stance on every little issue. Even the brand of a toothpaste. Someone I suddenly miss like crazy.

I don't want to see Monday.


Blogger ubisetela said...

Let me know if you need my help to find her in NZ :)

5:09 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

welcome back bergen. You shud let me know that you were back, you could have joined the riot last thursday. At least it couls have ease off the loneliness.

Everyone has the monday blus. Even those who works. The worst is an uncertainty for the future in ou working life as compare to having nothing at all. I'' give you an inside story later on OK

5:15 PM  
Blogger Count Byron said...

I love this.. tho at the expense of someone's sombreness.. the air of longing.. the austerity of a life once thot mundane.. You certainly need a patch Berg.
And love your on-rig work I do.. love watching you strong men slinging those lines.. lowering the drill string.. stabbing in the drill stem.. and casings too.. And that's your calling now.

6:46 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

i dont know bergen, but is there any reason now not to follow what yr heart tells you?

10:14 PM  
Blogger thinktankgal said...

I've been away from your blog for more than a week and so many deep entries....Well, know it well what's out there for you...go and follow your heart...At the least, you will get that yummy steak at the rig place again ;) Anyways, it's good to be back to KL! Mumbai was fantastic but wouldn't want to go back there for pleasure!

10:43 AM  
Blogger aalborg said...

Berg, some things just need to be buried. Trust me. Lost 10 kilos in 2 weeks.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Noni said...

wehhh Ailin.. what's da secret??? apa kebende should I tanam in order to lose 10 kilos in 2 weeks? cepat... I'd even bury my diamond ring if I had to... cepat cepat... tell...

9:01 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Ubisetela: Will do, ma'am.

AuntyN: Looking forward for the inside story, ma'am.

Count Byron: You have sharp eyes, sir. I loved my job on the rig doing what I do best, being with the best people on earth, open skies, open seas. I miss it.

Anedra: Follow the heart is one thing, ma'am. Who to follow is quite another.

Thinktankgal: I was there long long long time ago. For a month.

Ailin: You lost 10kg? What did you do, ma'am?

Noni: Don't bury that ring, ma'am.

2:00 PM  

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