Thursday, March 09, 2006

World Without Man.

Chapter III
A summary

(Recovering from the misadventure with Li Bulb Lampu and his sisters.)

Dip a coconut bun into a glass of teh 'O'. Leave it in there for five minutes, next thing you know tea all gone, the bun swollen into a dough triple its size. For three days my face got so big I felt like slicing off the extra flesh to prevent the swelling from spreading upwards to the area just below the eyes. It hurt to keep the eyes open, it hurt to keep them closed. It hurt even more in the morning after a difficult night, the eyes layered with sticky gel, probably a mixture of puss and blood. I don't know, I'm no eye doctor.

I have been on porridge diet for three days and it's making me pretty restless having to suck each spoonful twisting my mouth sideways now that the lower-half of my jaw is almost useless for chewing. Aunt says we are going to Kuala Terengganu to see a Bomoh Patah there to fix my shoulder. But this has to wait until I am strong enough to make the journey. Both Grandma and Aunt haven't started on me with their long-winded lectures. Not yet. At the moment they are more concerned with my recovery. In the meantime it's best that I behave like a real patient, moaning and complaining every now and then so they can see how much I have to suffer for my sin. This way I can send them scampering for things I need like apples, toys, and wallets with a picture of Hong Kong actresses in bikini in the side pocket. All I need to do is ask and next thing you know, I got them.

Mok Song Gigi comes in a dream every now and then, smiling a toothless grin looking down from among the clouds up above straight at me in bed, blanket up to my chin. Sometimes she speaks in a voice I can't make out. One time she comes down on me like a dragon chewing me up to pieces in between her giant gum, making so much noise grinding my chewy body that I woke up feeling so scared thinking it's true what the boys in the village are saying that she has a polong. They know for sure because one time they made funny faces behind her back. She turned with a scary glance that sent them running in all directions of the compass. It's true. Kapir serani.

She's here in the living room with Li Bulb Lampu's and Biding Hidung's mommy talking hush hush with Grandma and Aunt. They are coming into my room now to ish ish ish me, and mmm mmm mmm, caressing and massaging my feet as if peforming the last rite before sending me off to alam barza'. Mok Song Gigi reads something, her lips pouting into a twist that I'm sure she's casting a spell on me for sending her husband's trishaw into an open grave, front tyre rolled into an '8'. Li Bulb Lampu's mommy gave me twenty cent which she put in the palm of my hand. I manage to muster a thank you Mokmek. She smiles but I dare not smile back, not with Moksong Gigi right above my head that I can see her chin and neck as clear as I can see her in my dreams.

Aunt says Li Bulb Lampu and her sisters are recovering too but they didn't hurt themselves too badly. Just bruises. They jumped in time before the trishaw rolled over mid-way when the front half of the carriage got jammed in the drain. The jerk must have catapulted them like a projectile half way to heaven before the three of them landed on the grass. Lucky for them. I haven't told Aunt that I held on to the handle bar right through it all, right through the moment the trishaw nose dived into the drain. Don't ask me why I didn't let go because I can't remember. But I do remember my leg, jammed in between the sidecar and the pedal that I couldn't get it off fast enough before the whole weight of the trishaw rolled over to slam me against the concrete drain.

Good thing Biding Hidung decided not to come on board. He was the one who ran for help. We owe him something. Sometimes a decision you make at the last minute can mean something to someone, or to you. Sometimes it's good to be a coward at the last minute because you will never know that the next minute everyone will call you a hero. In this case, everyone says, mujo gok ada Biding (Hidung).


Blogger Queen Of The House said...

Ouch ouch ... I can imagine the pain.

Extreme makeover would have been good?

BTW I really loved Pok Ku's Mujo the first time I read it. Love it still ... what a piece!

2:22 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

Bergen, mujo u live to tell the story.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Arena said...

Mr Bergen,
Go write a book sir. You really got it. Me and cousin pernah jatuh motor dalam longkang besar. Both of us never let go. Her hands was still on the handle, as did my hand, on her waist. suffered some cut and bruises but the humiliation. haiyyohh. We were more worried about the bike then ourself, mapuh(mampus) keno maghoh dengang abang bile bali ghumoh. Buak(buat2) pesang(pengsan) sebak takuk sangak.. MUjo idop lagi pah haghi nih..

3:24 PM  
Blogger aalborg said...

It's always the captain's honour to go down with his ship. In your case, with his stolen trishaw! hahah...could not resist that.

Anyway, if I ever meet a 40 something man with dentures lining his lower jaw, I'll know who it is!

3:39 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Can imagine the pain. Can imagine the swollen face as well.

echo Kak Teh, Mujoq hidup lagi no..

3:42 PM  
Blogger Nurelhuda said...

I visited a friend jatuh motor last month..she looked exactly as you described yourself ...

4:00 PM  
Blogger mommy@lif said...

mujo patoh bahu je, hok laing molek lagi

is your shoulder ok now? that bomoh patoh sure was really good. my sister dislocated hers in an accident once and now still has to really take good care of it. imagine, while running in the sand by the beach, the shoulder dislocated itself!mujo bolih masuk balik

4:58 PM  
Blogger A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

you are one drama queen, that's for sure.

*walks away laughing my head off*

but i understand your pain.

*still gelak tak sudah*

5:09 PM  
Blogger Sayuti said...

qoth can imagine the pain. i almost feel it. almost.

8:21 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

Although I can imagine that the pain you went through was excrutiating but I can't help but think..padan muka! hahaha!

11:16 AM  
Blogger cloudchaser said...

you poor poor boy.
but conniving too. kecik-kecik dah pandai me-manipulate orang ye :)

11:29 AM  
Blogger LifeBloom said...

In like this caption best:-

"...They are coming into my room now to ish ish ish me, and mmm mmm mmm, caressing and massaging my feet..."

Boleh imagine Mok Song Gigi and Aunt in consternation and "geleng kepala" mode....

When I was 6 - biking downhill - i bumped into a tree - headlong - and I swear the expression "seeing stars" is true. There was so much blood after that I tak nampak apa... Muka herot seminggu - nasib baik tak permanent....hahaha

11:46 AM  
Blogger NBB said...

nasib si budak nakal...

2:08 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

QOTH: Yes, ma'am. That piece by Pok Ku is a rare gem.

Kak Teh: Mujo Kak Teh jengok-jengok mari. Kalu do kena gi Inglang, jjupa kakk Langdeng.

Arena: I believe you are from Pahang? Which part, ma'am? Wish I had a few friends to try out your Laksa Pahang resipi.

Ailin: Lower jaw re-built with implants and bridges, ma'am. Almost broke me penniless.

AuntyN: Too bad, didn't the camera to record the maximum limit a face can grow.

Dr Nurelhuda: You won't forget something like that, ma'am.

Alif Mommy: Yes, ma'am. Hok laing molek lagi buat sementara waktu.

Xaviera: It was one of the rare occasions to have things your way.

Sayuti: It wasn't the only injury I had to endure, sir. There were a few more.

Anedra: The injury was painful. The memory almost permanent. And I've got something to write about, or back on, and think of new adventures. I am planning an adventure now. Will write about it, but first I need to get hurt. And you can say 'padan muka' one more time. LOL.

Cloudchaser: An apple was an expensive item then. And toys, you only get 'em when Aunt gave you some money from the sales of nekbat, pulut panggang, or nissang pulut. As for the wallets, I had them in every color they got in the shop.

Lifebloom: Yes, first you hit the head against something. For 5 seconds, everything went blank, and you can almost hear the tweet tweet tweet. At this point, you either blank out, or recover, depending on how serious the impact is, or where. Wear a helmet, ma'am. Tough guys wear 'em too.

Dr Nurul Bahiyah Baharudin: Given the chance, I'd do it all over again. Naughty boys won't reform.

3:11 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

To everyone who came in, thank you very much for dropping by. Have a good weekend.

I'm going on a trishaw ride.

3:25 PM  
Blogger AuntieYan. said...

Cerita yang lapas pung dok habis gelak sambung hok ni pulak!.....sakit...peruttt....
p/s:...gelak (ketawa)boleh awet muda.....mujolah!!!

3:56 PM  
Blogger aalborg said...

broke YOU or your aunt penniless?

Anyway, Anedra, I was also to think Padan MUKA! But, ala.... kesian the beca.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Arena said...

Mr Bergen,
From Pahang, bapak from Chenor, mama from Kelantan, us sibling from Kuantanlah. Relatives scatter all East Coast, hence can speak in all 3 dialect..If my hubby Ed can speak Jawa fluently, I'd try and learn it in a heartbeat, baghu beh gi kendughi..Le nih gi, dok pahang arang setarang(tak faham, haram sebutir haram) kekkekekek..

Laksa pahang is so easy to make.. Try it..:-)

4:49 PM  
Blogger Mama Irma said...

Bergen, I guess 'Kapir Serani' tu a form of swearing? as per 'sumpah!!?? hillarious!!!

5:29 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

Master Bergen,


Pain that comes during the time that have past is always as sweet as honey in the times that would come.

I like this entry.

8:20 PM  
Blogger Restless said...

:) heheh

1:46 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

AuntieYan: Awet muda? I'm laughing and launghing and laughing...

Ailin: Yes, kesian kat beca.

Arena: Dok pahang, is still okay. Dok pahang sepatoh harang is the farthest one can go. LOL

Mama Irma: Yes, ma'am. It's the maximum sumpah, almost close to being an infidel. Kalau kapir, is infidel which is still okay, masih ada peluang to kembali ke pangkal jalan. But kalau kapir serani, this is a gone case. Serani is Eurasian, meaning kalau kapir bukan Eurasian still okay. Kalau Eurasian, habis. Whoever thought of this has gotta be one heck of a creative guy.

DIM: You say it nice, sir.

Anim: Good to know I made you laugh.

4:04 PM  

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