Tesco Kinda Love

Aunt Su called around three in the afternoon to ask how I was getting along being all alone in the apartment. I said I am doing alright. No, I am not getting married next week. If I was I definitely need to go to Tesco first.

Awat kat Tesco depa ada juai bini ka?
LOL.

No, they don't, Aunt Su.

Habih tu yang hang kena pi Tesco nak caghi bini apsai?

How am I going to explain this to her? People that age won't be able to understand why I keep making trips after trips to Tesco, sometimes as many as four times a day for every little thing I may or may not need, hoping, really really hoping, that I'd bump into my Elizabeth Taylor. There's no turning back this time. I am all prepared to lose everything I got, my dignity, pride or whatever still left in me. I just need to walk up to her and ask if she'd marry me. Just between you and me, I even bought the ring just in case she may think I am out playing pranks for some reality TV show.

As a matter of fact I am seriously considering purchasing a spot, about 10ft x 10ft space at Tesco so I can move in there with my camping gear, to wait for this lady to appear. I know it's a bad idea because TV3 is just right across. Who knows, one of them nosy reporters might decide to run a story on me on national TV. It's too much of an embarassment. I've got nothing much left but I still got this 'malu' thing in me to risk something like that. But the whole idea is quite tempting though. Anything as long I get to her, to express my one and only desire at the moment and that is, to be married to her. Only her. Anything, as long as in the end, I get to ride into the sunset with this lady whom I have only met once but her images has stayed on my mind, my heart, my ears, and my head for weeks on end. This can't go on, I need to do something about it. As far as I'm concerned there are only two ways this can go. Forget about her. Or try to look for her and say what I've got to say once and for all. Who cares what may happen after that. It's something a man gotta do for a woman he has began to love.

I know this is too fast, I mean from a chance encounter moving straight to love. But that's how it is with love at first sight. You see something you like and that's about it. It was like that when I first saw the movie poster with Elizabeth Taylor on it. Didn't even realise Richard Burton was right next to her. All I saw was Elizabeth Taylor and that was it. That experience was enough as a motivation in itself to make me look for someone like her from one end of the world to the other. I have been to a lot of places and whaddaya know, she's right here. At a place called Tesco. Whoever this guy is, I mean this Tesco guy, I love him. I hope one day he will move into our neighbourhood so I can shake his hand. This is of course if, only if this whole thing ends in me saying something like, aku terima nikahnya dengan maskawin ..., and people around me say 'sah' 'sah' 'sah' so that I can say to them, now will you please get out of here because me and my missus are busy right now. See you folks tomorrow, I'll buy you each a month of groceries at Tesco but right, that's the front door. Thank you for coming.

That's why I'm calling this whole thing, Tesco Kinda Love. It's even better than Phil Collins' Groovy Kinda Love. Of course I don't know which way this is going to go.

Until I meet her again. I'm putting on me Night Vision Goggles. And I've got me a scanner that can automatically detect a red proton with the licence plate WLY ....

Excuse me, I'm going hunting for the love of my life.