Thursday, February 09, 2006

No Woman No Cry.

Something as routine as laundry can go very wrong all because I took for granted that Aunt Su would know to first soak the four pieces of new batik sarung to run off the dye before mixing them together with the rest of the clothes in the machine. She didn't know, or maybe she forgot. I've said it's alright, but she's in the room all by herself crying like a little child.

I don't like this. I've seen it happened and I am scared. An elderly can feel so depressed that she may feel useless for days. In some extreme cases they may even try to hurt themselves as if a mistake can be easily corrected by self-inflicted injury. I need a plan.

First - I need to let Aunt Su cry all she want, but I need to limit this to ten minutes maximum. Anything longer than that can be dangerous.

Second - I need to go in there to tell her in a jovial manner that it's alright because this will give us a chance to go to Jalan Masjid India to look for a couple of new clothes, and we can always go to Insaf Restaurant for briyani when we are hungry.

Third - I need to stay with her for the rest of the evening, keeping her company to let this laundry issue off her mind. Maybe I need to take her out for a drive to FRIM. I heard it's a nice place but I wonder if it's open for a visit this late in the day.

Fourth - I need to secure all the doors, especially the one leading to the balcony. I've got to make sure these are locked and keep the keys under my pillow.

Fifth - I had better sleep light to detect any sound from Aunt Su's room. I am going to ask her to keep the door open. I must remove the chairs from her room so she won't use it to jam the door.

Sixth - Tawakal.


Blogger Noni said...

Bergen r u talking about my mother?... for your sake and hers (and mine) i do hope you're over-reacting... and yes FRIM dah tutup.

I think Aunt Su might need friends of her own age Berg... people to talk old folk stuff with... might make them less sensitive... now can please someone tell that to my mother!

6:52 PM  
Blogger anggerik merah said...

Bergen..I can see how sensitive Aunt Su would be. Most people at that age could go thru the same sensitivity. I m sure you are very good at making her feel better again!

7:05 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

Companionship and love.

give them to her, make her feel safe, make her feel loved. do it subtlely. insyallah it'll work.

my prayers are with you.

7:08 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Noni: I believe you know the place we are at is designed and built for young couples with no children. Maybe it was a mistake to move in here because I don't see all that many elderlies around here. I am going to have to work hard to find Aunt Su a friend she can spend an evening with.

Anggerik Merah: I am going to give it my best shot, ma'am.

Demonsinme: Thank you, DIM. You are a great guy, sir.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Noni said...

Bergen, I think the masjid kat Tmn Tun near the shops(not the gaudy green one kat Sg. Penchala)ada weekly yassin session every Khamis malam Jumaat. Selalunya attending would be makcik-makcik... some mak-mak Datin but some regular Makciks just like my Mom. I have made a few friends amongst them myself. That might be a start?

8:32 AM  
Blogger AuntieYan. said...

Bergen, I agree with what noni suggested...she needs friends of her age.

3:47 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Noni / AuntieYan: I don't mean to be cruel to Aunt Su but the truth is she doesn't know how to read the Qur'an. I taught her to pray a few years ago and she is quite regular at it although at times she ponteng. She won't survive in the company of normal Malay elderly women. They'll make fun of her, or consider her the most likely candidate for hell. It has happened before.

I hope I am not doing something bad to her by saying this on the net but I willing to let this go because chances are you will never meet her.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Noni said...

Berg... my mother is an illiterate, Chinese mualaf who is fiery and sensitive like anything... and I am damn proud of her. But I am sure u'd know what's best for ur Aunt Su.

6:54 PM  
Blogger torts said...

you're being very protective. then again you know her best.

good luck.

4:27 PM  

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