Thursday, February 09, 2006

It's Not Good To Hate Somebody.

Most likely I will never know what it feels like to have a father since no way I can convince Aunt Su to remarry just so I can experience the joy of having a male I may consider a father around the house for a change. Maybe I will never get used to the idea of sharing the house with a man because Aunt raised me with the idea that we don't need a man in the house because we are doing alright without a man to do the things man normally do around the house like fix a floor-board, or re-wire something, or sit in front of tv all day ordering people about to get his drink or a newspaper acting grumpy and irritable. Thinking about this, I come to the conclusion in my own uneducated fashion that I don't need a father afterall. It was a nice thought nonetheless that I played in my mind driving from the pizza parlor in Taman Tun back to our little place in this big wide world in Damansara Perdana.

A caregiver will tell you that men are grumpier and more irritable than women. I don't have the answer for this but generally this is true. I am not aware of any scientific research on this but you can do the math yourself to see if what I am saying is any good to arrive at the final analysis.

Maybe it's me or maybe it's them, but generally, men I used to take care of don't like me very much. Aunt Su used to say it's because they were jealous to see me getting all the attention from the women at the old folks' home whenever I came for a visit. I'd tell Aunt Su how nice it would be if only I get the same attention from young, pretty, available women whenever I go about my business looking for the most likely candidate for a missus. The reason all those women gave me all the attention was because I usually have something for them like biscuits, fruits, or minyak angin, sometimes fizzy drinks. I was their Santa Claus, minus the belly and the beard, and the red suit, and the black boots.

There was a gentleman in that institution who really hated me that I was at my wits' end trying to figure out why. Aunt Su said maybe because I reminded him of someone he used to hate in his younger days. I figured it was more than this.

One windy afternoon Aunt Su and I were enjoying our lunch at a picnic table under the angsana tree. He came in from the building walking towards us, his eyes fixed on me that I felt a little uncomfortable but continued talking to Aunt Su, dabbing the drips around her mouth. He got to us near enough for me to see the wrinkles around his eyes. As if possessed by some demons, he raised his walking stick to point it straight to my face and mumbled something like 'syaitan! syaitan! syaitan!' It must have scared Aunt Su that she trembled and fumbled with the fried chicken. Good thing this gentleman was an elderly person. Had he been my age or younger I'd love to lunge at him and tear his jaws apart for behaving like that in front of Aunt Su. He stood there in the sun for a couple of minutes, mumbling something in what sounded like the combination of Gaelic and Swahili, when two orderlies appeared to lead him into the building.

I met the person in-charge to enquire if it was safe for Aunt Su to be in the same building with that elderly gentleman. He assured me that he'd personally see to it that everything would be alright and that I had nothing to worry about. When someone gives you that kind of assurance you had better not trust him because I know 100% that he is not the resident supervisor and he leaves for home after five. I took Aunt Su to the hotel with me for the rest of the weekend.

I don't plan to write a long entry on this story but sadly, the elderly gentleman died and the secrets why he hated me is buried forever in a grave somewhere in Penang.


Blogger Noni said...

it wasn't u Berg... it was just the heat... u don't owe him anything... haiya... stalk... stalk stalk...

4:16 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Firstly, I can't seem to be able to keep up with you. Leave this blog for a moment, when I come back I've got 3 entries to read. :-). But I am NOT complaining OK. I am just slow that's all.

I agree with you though that men are more grumpy than women in general. From the same perspective you are talking her, the caregiver.

Maybe the old man was jeleous of you for beingable to get close to Aunt Su, while Aunt Su didn't give him the same chance.

5:42 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

Well, just forget the whole thing then and forgive him for hating you. Maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just senile and delusioned. I don't know. Hate is such a strong, ugly feeling though and to die feeling that, can't be good. The only person worth hating when u die is George W Bush.

Let's just pray that he's (the old man and not Bush) better taken care of in the afterlife. God Bless him and God Bless you more Bergen.

5:48 PM  
Blogger demonsinme said...

Master Bergen,

tend to agree with aunty n - leave your place for a milisecond, and voila, three entries appears.

on the hate thing, an old sage once told me that "we love to hate the people that has much similarities with us - its just they way we love".

mebbe, just mebbe, the old man love you too much. but anyways, who am i to say right?

i like a piece in Fresh Prince - "just the two of us" song;


7:05 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Noni: Doesn't hurt to know what it was eating him up on me that way. Wish I'd knew.

AuntyN: I believe someone told him that I was the nephew. That should have explained to him why I was there. Maybe he felt lonely because as far as I know his children left him for dead at the house. Poor guy.

Anedra: The memory of this guy came back after my feeble attempt failed to get Aunt Su and the eldery gentleman to hit it off on a relationship that could lead to me sending you and the rest of the regular visitors to this blog a walimatul-urus card. I kinda like the idea of being the financier to this whole romance thing, and giving Aunt Su away to someone who can make her feel happy again. She went through a bad marriage with Pakcik Syed, I guess she deserves another chance. But it ain't my business to play cupid here, right?

Demonsinme: You are deep, man.

7:59 PM  

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